What advice can you give to other mamas who want to go natural?
If you want a natural birth, believe in yourself and your body capability
Here's more info from Ashley:
I first became an "unofficial mother" in 2006 shortly after my 18th birthday to at that time a 7-yr-old boy. I met my husband in August he was a single parent. At the time I didn't realize it.
Flash forward to 2017 and the birth of my 7th (6th biological) child, and let me be the first to tell you from my own personal experience, not every delivery is the same and this was no exception. I was due with my 6th child on October 21st, 2017. On Monday the 2nd I went in for my weekly check-up, and everything was looking good. I was 2cm dilated and 30 percent effaced, so my doctor told me to go ahead and schedule my next appointment for the following week and I would see him in one week if I didn’t go into labor before then. Well, that whole week I had felt nauseous and had diarrhea. I noticed I was having lots of pelvic pressure, it was to the point that I would have to stop walking, take a breath and wait for the pressure to subside. I knew at this point labor was imminent!
I spent that whole week preparing for a dinner party that we were going to be attending that Saturday. I was supposed to be making several dishes to bring to dinner. I didn't want to go to the party with the way I had been feeling that whole week, I was miserable, and that was the last thing I wanted to be doing. I was going to be 38 weeks pregnant that day, and I didn’t want to go into labor while I was at someone else’s house. What if my water broke while I was there?! That was not a thought that I liked! For me, in the past with my last three children once my water was broke the baby was there. told my husband over and over that I felt like I was going to go into labor on Saturday. "Watch!" “Just watch!" "I bet I will!" And sure enough, I was right!
So, Saturday came, and my husband got up to go work like he does every other Saturday. My husband did his usual morning routine and left about ten minutes before 7 am. I laid in bed like I do most mornings, trying to get some extra rest before I would have to get up with the kids. Seven o’clock on the dot; my water broke! My immediate thought was, "Oh, Shit!" "Please don't come now!" "Please wait!" I was so scared, I didn't want to have a baby at home, I wasn't prepared for that!
The reason I had thought this was because with two of my other previous pregnancies; when my doctor physically broke my water the baby was born within minutes. My water had only broken on its own once before and at the exact same time, which I thought was strange (7 o'clock in the morning). This time when my water broke I heard a "POP!" sound and it woke me up from a deep sleep. She was born within two hours of my water breaking. This time though it was a completely different experience! I noticed Contractions had begun to start after my water breaking, but they were tolerable and were spaced pretty far apart. It's very possible and more than likely that my contractions had started while I was sleeping without even realizing it, until after my water had broken. The first thing I did after my water broke was, call my husband.
Amazingly, even though my water had broken the real "gush" didn't come until after I got out of bed.
I called my husband, I was shaking with fear. I told him "Uh..." "You need to turn around and come home now!" "It's Time!!!" "My Water Broke!!!" "I'm scared!" "I don't want to have this baby at home by myself!" He told me, "Calm down, I'm on my way!" I said, "Okay, but be fast!" Now in full panic mood, I was freaking out, alone, with all the kids; they were all sleeping, but that didn't bring me comfort! So after I got off the phone with him, I jumped out of bed and went directly to my closet to get my overnight bag. Thankfully, I had packed my bag weeks before. I grabbed my bag and sat it on the bed, then hurried to the bathroom and cleaned myself up. Thankfully, I had showered and shaved the night before just in case.
My bag was packed with everything I thought I would need. A fresh outfit, underwear, bra, etc..., I had picked out clothes weeks before to wear to the hospital. All I had to do now was get dressed. After cleaning myself up enough to get dressed, I grabbed my bag and started, getting dressed, in the bathroom. Suddenly my husband walked into the room, and it startled me. It's funny how you can get frightened, even when you are entirely aware someone is going to be walking into the room at any moment. When he came in, he began to tell me about the conversation he had with his boss, which just made me upset, definitely not what I needed to hear. Lucky for me, my husband was only at the gas station up the street, so he was home in less than ten minutes.
My husband had been getting gas when I called him. He finished pumping his gas, got back in the car and turned around to come straight home. When I got off the phone with my husband, he called his boss immediately. My husband needed someone to go to work for him and cover his shift.
He worked at a cemetery and wasn’t going to be able to open up and get things ready for the funerals, but someone was going to need to do it!
Well, of course, his boss was not happy because now he would have to go in and work for him. My husband told his boss, “I’m not going to be able to come into work today; we’re having the baby!" His boss got quiet. So he asked, ”Okay?” ”OOKKAAYY!” His boss told him, with an attitude. My husband then said to his boss, in a sarcastic tone of course, “I’m sorry if the birth of my child is an inconvenience to you, but I can’t control when my daughter decides to be born!”
My husband had been telling his boss for a long time that sometime between the middle and end of October the baby could come and he would need him to fill in for him if it happened on a Saturday. His boss acted like that was going to be fine the whole time, until it actually happened! I was due around that time, what did he expect?! That the baby wouldn't wait until my husband had the day off! I wish things worked like that!
As I finished getting ready, my husband went to wake our oldest, who was 18 years old at the time (from my husband's previous marriage). My husband got him up and told him that the new baby was coming. He also told him he was going to have to sit with his siblings and probably stay home from school that coming Monday because we wouldn't get out of the hospital until later that day. We needed help with the kids while we were in the hospital and someone who could get Mila(5) and Lu(6) ready for school and onto the bus that Monday. We had no one else to ask.
My parents and siblings don't hardly come around seem to avoid me like I have the plague, and my husband's mother physically isn't capable. After my husband got our son up and came back to our room, I grabbed my wallet, my husband grabbed my bag, and a nursing pillow and we left for the hospital. The hospital was only fifteen minutes away, so it didn’t take us long to get there. Which was a relief!
When we got there, we rushed through the lobby; we passed my "OB's" office and rode the elevator up to labor and delivery where they checked me in and got my weight. After that, I was taken to a triage room to make sure my water had actually broken. I was given a hospital gown to change in to. I was still leaking amniotic fluids as I was changing into the gown. I hated the way it felt, running down my legs! It felt as though I was continuously peeing on myself. So, I finished up in the bathroom and laid on the bed while I waited to be, checked by the nurse.
I texted my dad, and just like my last birth I never heard back from him. It brakes my heart to know my father didn’t care enough even to text me back when I was in labor with his granddaughter. The last time I didn't speak to him for six months. I had only started speaking with him and my mother when they moved back to Indiana from New Mexico the year before and that was the first time they had ever met or seen ANY of my children before. I said to myself, "I'm not going to let him ruin this moment for my baby or for me!" "She deserves every bit of me, every bit of my focus, and every bit of the love I have for her!" I refuse to be sad or allow myself for one second to feel grief for what I felt like the loss of a parent. Really, inside it was worse.
Most of the time when someone loses a parent to death there is no "choice" in the matter, but when they for no apparent reason, willingly chose to not acknowledge that their youngest daughter is having children, it can't be ignored. It was my fathers choice not to be a part of my life. My mother and I never really had much of a connection, but I had always thought that I was "daddy's little girl." I was the youngest of five children, and all I wanted was for one of my parents to care that I was having a baby.
I put all of those thoughts of sadness aside and focused on the birth to come. At this point, my nurse had come back into my room and checked my blood pressure, temperature, and hooked up my IV. The nurse called the doctor on-call, which happened to be the same doctor I had seen two weeks prior to my 36-week appointment when my doctor was out of the office. We had joked with her about her being one of the only doctors on the Hospital staff that hadn’t delivered any of our children. She said, "Well, you never know.” ”I’ll be on duty when you're 38 weeks.” Me and my husband both said, “Yeah, you never know.” That’s precisely what ended up happening Out of six babies, I only had my OB doctor deliver one of them, that was my first, the next five would each be delivered, by five different doctors. The doctor told the nurse to call back when I was within an hour of having the baby. She only lived about 20 minutes away from the hospital.
Meanwhile, I was able to get in and out of bed as I pleased and was even encouraged to do so, to help my labor progress. Here it is sometime after 9 am, and I am hungry! Ice is all I’m allowed to eat until after I give birth. I lay back in bed for a while before the nurse comes in to recheck my cervix. My contractions weren’t overpowering, and I wasn’t progressing very fast, but my cervix did change, at least a little. I was now at 4cm dilated and 70% effaced. After the nurse was done checking my cervix I had her unhook the IV and heart/contraction monitor so I could get out of bed and use the bathroom. Once getting out of bed, my contractions at times were becoming intense; I had to hold onto the grab bars that were next to the toilet and wait for my contraction to end before I could even use the bathroom. I sat, and I breathed through the contractions before I was able to use the bathroom.
I walked around the room for a bit, before deciding to get back in bed to rest. A couple of hours had passed when the nurse came back into the room to check for any progression. I’ve only dilated a little more... not much at all, and my contractions were getting more spread out, but they were still powerful, strong contractions at the same time. So my nurse offers me a peanut ball (large, labor ball-shaped liked a peanut) to "labor" on. The peanut ball definitely made the contractions start to become closer together and feel even more intense. As soon as I got off the ball and back into the bed, my contractions spread out again. My nurse comes into the room, checks the monitor and says, “The baby is still looking good on the monitor.", "Heart rate is good and strong,” “Let’s go ahead and recheck your cervix." She asked me to lay back, drop my legs to the side, and take a deep breath. Then she says, “You’re at 7cm dilated and 90% effaced”, “Not much longer now." The labor ball had really helped my labor move along.
The nurse had already called for the doctor to come up to the hospital for another patient, so she was on her way and would be there when I was ready to deliver. I decided that I would get up one more time and try to use the bathroom. I labored on the toilet for a while, having strong contractions. Once getting back in my room I used the peanut ball one last time. I was able to sit on the ball for about another half hour before I couldn’t take the pain any longer without an epidural. I felt defeated! I had gone so long doing it "naturally," but I couldn't bear the pain anymore, so I had the nurse call for the anesthesiologist. I felt guilty, but I just couldn’t handle it anymore, the pain was too much; I caved and got the epidural. I had no clue; it would be less than an hour before my baby would be born. It was now about 4 o’clock; the anesthesiologist comes in the room to give me the epidural. They had me turn around on the bed to were my legs can hang off the side of the bed so he can give me the epidural.
I was in transition as I was getting the epidural, so it was tough to sit entirely still, which is very important to do. I was, hunched over hugging a pillow because that's what I had been told to do for previous epidurals. This doctor didn't want me to do that. He told me I need to sit up straight, take a deep breath, and relax. He quickly put the epidural in, and I was able to lay back on the bed. Immediately after receiving the epidural I began to vomit, from the transition stage of labor. The nurse gave me bags to throw up in to, so I wouldn't throw up on myself. I was grateful for that. Everything seemed to be moving very quickly!
Finally, my nausea and vomiting had stopped just long enough for the doctor to check me one more time. This time I was fully dilated, and 100% effaced. It was time to push! My nurse took the delivery bed apart and got everything ready to deliver the baby. The doctor told me to slide down on the bed a little bit, told my husband to grab my leg, and with my next contraction, she told me to start pushing. I pushed three times before my daughters head and shoulders were out. The doctor asked me, ”Do you want to pull her out?” For a very brief moment, I hesitated and shrugged my shoulders, not knowing what to do. Then she asked me again, with a little more urgency in her voice, because if I were going to pull my daughter the rest of the way out, I would have to do it now!
I reached down and pulled my baby girl out of my body. It was the first time I helped deliver my own baby. It felt amazing! The first thing I noticed after delivering my daughter was her full head of black hair and her deep adorable dimples in her cheeks. She was so beautiful! Then I noticed her tiny body was, covered in the softest dark baby hair, just like a baby piglet and the cutest and funniest part was that her little noises sounded like a baby piglet too! My husband would tease and call her Porker because we named her Parker. It was the cutest little piggy noise I had ever heard. It melted my heart! I got to lay my baby directly on my chest; I was in complete awe of what had happened. I had just given birth, and pulled my baby from my body!
When I took that first look at my baby's face, I was so in love with this perfect little person that I helped bring into this world! She opened her eyes, and my heart dropped. It felt like a stinging pain in the pit if my gut. I couldn't see any color in her left eye. For the first five minutes or so there was no color. I was scared that my baby was blind in one eye. I had no clue that her eye was rolled in the back of her head. When it finally went back into place, I felt so much relief; knowing my baby was going to be okay.
Nowadays we have a good laugh about it. The doctor finished delivering the placenta; then she left the cord attached to the baby for about
5 minutes or so before clamping and allowing hubby to cut the cord. After about the first 15 minutes I began trying to nurse my baby. She latched like a seasoned pro! I got to spend the first hour uninterrupted, with my new baby before she was even taken to get weighed. This uninterrupted first hour is called "The Birthing Hour." It's a great way for mothers to bond with their newborn. When nurses finally did come in to weigh her, she weighed 7 pounds and was 19 3/4 inches long.
Parker, my husband and I were finally able to go to a family suite after she was weighed. I was so happy to be able to go to the suite because I was still covered in blood from the delivery and wanted to shower badly. I had my husband order the hospital's room service while I showered and he looked after baby. I got dressed, checked on the baby and then nursed her again before eating and getting some rest myself. Tomorrow we had another big day in store for us. All of Parker’s six siblings would be coming to the hospital to meet their new sister. I had your typical hospital stay, which meant nurses would be in and out of the room constantly during my time there, and for me, this is the worst thing about having a baby in the hospital. You never really get any rest. Nurses come in and out of the room all night for the two nights I am there, poking at the baby and me.
Even if I got the baby to lay down, it didn't matter because she would be up again shortly with a nurse checking her and me every few hours.
The next morning my nurse comes in to do the usual routine. My nurse tells me it's time for the baby to have a bath. Then she asked me, ”Do you want to give her a bath yourself?” “I’m sure you know what you're doing!” I was excited, and I immediately said, “Absolutely!” “I would love to!” It was the first time I’d been able to give one of my kids their first bath. It was a memorable birth full of firsts for us. Later that day her siblings came to the hospital to meet her. She had her aunt, uncle, and two of her cousins that came up to meet her as well. That Monday I was able to go home and resume life with a new addition to our family.
Parker Rae
Birth Date: October 7th, 2017
Time: 4:27 pm
Weight: 7 pounds
Length: 19 3/4 inches