Reading Birth Stories Helped Kelli During Her Hospital Birth

When did you realize you were really in labor?

I had a membrane sweep at noon as a last chance to avoid induction. At 3:00 PM I started feeling random contractions but didn't get my hopes up. By 8:00 PM they were coming about every 5 minutes. That's when I knew it was the real thing.

What was the most challenging thing about going natural?

My midwife told me that I had a quick labor for it being my first. Once things got started they got intense fast and stayed that way. For the last 4 hours of my labor I had less than 30 seconds between contractions, and even less during transition. They were so close together I couldn't recover in between and I was exhausted once it was time to start pushing.

What was the most helpful thing you did to prepare for childbirth?

Reading birth stories! Reading natural birth stories really helped me believe that I could do it when so many people told me I would want the epidural in the end.

What surprised you about your birth?

The hospital staff. Unfortunately there are so many birth stories where the mother receives unwanted birth interventions and the hospital staff doesn't respect her wishes. I had a wonderful midwife but I knew I would still have interactions with hospital staff and I went in with my guard up, but I didn't need to. My midwife had to call for help when my baby went into distress and the on call OB team respected all my wishes that they were able to.

If things don't go to plan, it's okay to be upset, but don't let the loss of your natural or intervention free birth steal your joy. I spent so much time dwelling on her vacuum delivery and crying over what I felt was my loss of dignity, I didn't fully enjoy the first few weeks of my daughter's life. All you can do is prepare and do your best, so find a supportive care provider, read as many positive birth stories as you can, make your wishes known, and believe that you can do it!

What pain relief strategies worked best?

Rocking back and forth on my elbows and knees and remembering to breathe. Unfortunately I didn't get the hang of relaxing and breathing instead of tensing and holding my breath until nearly the end.

What position did you end up delivering in?

I started pushing on my elbows and knees but unfortunately my baby went into distress and I had to lay on my back so they could use continuous monitoring. When her heart rate didn't improve they delivered her by vacuum in the lithotomy position.

How did it feel to hold your baby for the first time?

Unfortunately, I didn't feel the instant bond. I had hoped to have immediate skin to skin, but since she had been in distress they took her away and I barely got to touch her. My husband got to hold her a few minutes later. After they got my bleeding under control they said I could hold her while I was being stitched, but I was shaking so badly from everything that happened that I was afraid to hold her. It was almost an hour after her birth that I finally felt comfortable to hold her. Although I knew I loved her, I can't say that I felt that amazing connection right away. I felt terrible actually. I spent 9 months getting to know 3 wonderful midwives, and then the one who attended my birth had to stand aside and let a man I never met deliver my baby and spend 45 minutes stitching my tears. Although no one treated me badly, I felt violated and defeated and that delayed my ability to bond immediately.

What advice can you give to other mamas who want to go natural?

If things don't go to plan, it's okay to be upset, but don't let the loss of your natural or intervention free birth steal your joy. I spent so much time dwelling on her vacuum delivery and crying over what I felt was my loss of dignity, I didn't fully enjoy the first few weeks of my daughter's life.
All you can do is prepare and do your best, so find a supportive care provider, read as many positive birth stories as you can, make your wishes known, and believe that you can do it!