When did you realize you were really in labor?
I wanted to give birth naturally for as long as I remember. Blame it on my daredevil personality or something. Even as a younger girl I wanted to know what’s the deal with “labor pain” firsthand. Consequently, when I got pregnant I told my husband, Ilya, I wanted to give birth naturally. It would fulfill my curiosity and also be an accomplishment for me.
My husband and I knew that in order for us to be successful, we needed to prepare. I thought that I had a pretty good pain tolerance as long as I knew the pain was normal and not dangerous. I told him that I wanted to take a childbirth education class and he was onboard. We were so busy though, working full time and my husband over time, I was prepping to sit through a certification test for work and was studying for that, prepping for baby, deep cleaning the house, taking trips, etc. We finally purchased the Mama Natural online class and started it when I was 37 weeks pregnant. Talk about last minute ha. To be fair, I did listen to a few audiobooks about pregnancy and had my husband listen in to parts of some when we were on our “baby moon” in Hawaii when I was 6 months pregnant. We watched the class while we ate, while we drove, and basically whenever we could squeeze it in. We watched some birth videos (my poor husband) but decided that they were quite helpful in the end.
I was 40 weeks + 3 days pregnant at the time of birth. I was legitimately so afraid that I’d have to be induced. I wasn’t sure I could go natural if I am induced. I’ve drank my red raspberry leaf tea, ate my dates, did some of those good baby position exercises, kept moving, and, you know, had my husband help out with the cervix softening ;) I refused to schedule an induction at 41 weeks when the midwife offered. I agreed to go in for some extra studies at the time just to make sure the baby was doing well. I already had two extra ultrasounds because I was “measuring small.”
My last shift at work was Monday, August 2nd, the day before my due date. I joked with my coworkers that I was trying to induce labor and giggled with my patients that expressed concern that I was still working. My irregular contractions started Thursday night of August fifth and lasted throughout the day. At first, I didn’t even realize they were contractions, just thought it was random pregnancy pain. However, after they’ve been irregular yet persistent for some time, a Google search helped me diagnose myself with contractions. For me, the labor process was a lot about being flexible and adjusting to things not being the way I expected them to be. Not in a bad way either. For example, contractions felt a lot different than what I thought they’d be like. My contractions exhibited pain in the lower back, and lower abdomen and a burning/pain sensation in the front pelvic area. The front pelvic area is most annoying, I’d say. I expected to feel pain throughout my whole abdomen.
My husband was at work and I told myself that it was my first baby so gear up as it might be a long ride. Well, actually I had to finish cleaning the house. I decided to do a deep clean of the house before the baby came. This project started weeks prior but made very slow progress and I just had to finish it before baby. So I whipped out the vacuum cleaner and went to finish things up. Occasionally I had to stop and take a break and eventually I had to bring a hot pack into action because the cramping in my lower abdomen was getting stronger. I took two naps, which was unusual for me even in late pregnancy. I would come to regret that those naps weren’t longer. It would be a while before I got some decent sleep lol.
My husband came home on his lunch break and I believe I told him about the pain but didn’t make much fuss about it. He then stopped home after work, I was doing a bit more pacing by then. He told me he had to go to his parent's house to help his dad take down a maple tree he started chopping, which slipped and apparently was leaning in the direction of the house. I kept changing positions and he asked me if I was okay. I said that it was painful but still making light of it. I mean, the first baby, am I right? Ilya came home around 5-6 pm. We were planning to have a date night. Just the two of us for however long that would be. We were going to have dinner and watch a movie or something. But, I wasn’t really having it. I think I ate some but had to make multiple trips to the bathroom as I felt like I had to poop super often. I kept on getting up during contractions and moving in whatever way seemed to help.
I think my husband started taking these contractions a little bit more as real. It was good that he wasn’t overreacting but I also kinda felt like someone needs to pamper me here lol. He said that he already felt sorry for me. I told him prior, that my support person needs to be like a coach, not to feel bad for me (at least not show it), to be caring but directive not apologetic.
We went upstairs to the bedroom and around 7 pm I was printing out the rest of the Mama Natural handouts of exercises and relaxation techniques the support person can assist with. All this while dealing with contractions. I was writing these on index cards prior until I realized they had handouts with pictures in, like, lesson 5. Hello?! My husband helped me fold these up.
I was using some makeshift heating pads, meaning my eye heating pads from when I had a huge stye in my eye. It wasn’t really cutting it. Ilya suggested that I use one of the hot/cold packs we had in the freezer. We put it in a tub of water to defrost and warm up but it was so clumsy to keep on and kept slipping off when I needed to shift positions. We decided to try to get some sleep. But I could no longer handle contractions lying down. I kept on getting on all fours. This sleep thing wasn’t gonna work. I decided since the hot packs weren’t working, maybe a bath would. I tried to prolong getting in the bath, because, again, the first baby would take a while and don’t get too excited. My husband drew me a bath, complete with some hot water in the kettle and pot. I had a drink station with water, juices, and raspberry leaf tea ha. I had my hubby bring me my Mama Natural affirmations cards and other encouraging photos of myself on challenging hikes, difficult things I’ve done, and Bible verses I’ve prepared to help me labor. I encouraged him to get some sleep as it was Thursday and he had to wake up at 3 am for 3 out of the 4 days for work and worked 10-hour shifts, didn’t sleep much and also helped dad with his maple tree dilemma. I told him he should rest before I REALLY need his help. This was around 9:20 pm. I was playing some ocean sounds. I thought I might read affirmation cards but definitely wasn’t up to it plus didn’t want to get them wet in the tub. I sat in that gloriously hot bathtub, which I cleaned earlier that day lol. I kept on having to get up and pee or fart/poop and would only get little squirts at a time. Eventually, I thought “Forget it, I am not getting up, even if I have to sit in my urine.” My contractions were getting stronger. I kept on telling myself to relax and accept. Ok, that was difficult! I don’t know if you can truly fully relax. However, I tried to keep a very positive mindset. I switched to hands and knees in the bathtub, trying to submerge my stomach in the water as much as possible. I was also on the toilet and on hands and knees a lot in the hallway. I had to lay out a toweled pathway for myself to catch the water and other bodily secretions. I also used cool washcloths on my forehead and neck to help cool down between the bath water.
After 11:00 pm, my contractions were growing more intense. I’m pretty sure at that point they were under 3 minutes apart and lasting at least a minute. I kept on telling myself to wait before tracking as it was the first baby, I wanted to wait until my contractions were under 3 minutes and my husband needed some sleep. Hello?!
I started tracking contractions on my phone app at 11:26 pm (precision and attention to time because I’m a nurse so I guess it’s kind of my second nature); they were 1-3 minutes apart, roughly 1 minute in length. Ilya woke up sometime around this time. I was getting quite loud. He asked if he should load the car, I told him: “Yes.” I threw up some time here and called out to my husband, who was prepping something: “That’s a good sign, right?”
My water broke at 12:01 am, I barely made it to the tub from the toilet. I thought the baby’s head was coming out because of the bulge the water sac created and was thinking the safest way to deliver him was in the tub. I was pooping like nonstop 😅
The contractions got quite intense after the water broke and I think I kind of started pushing without realizing it around the time the water broke.
My biggest concern was that I’ll poop as I walk downstairs or in the car. I put a pad in my underwear and had Ilya get some towels on the seat. Ilya helped me dress. There was no way I wanted to get any shorts on, so t-shirt and robe it was. I knelt by the couch as another contraction hit me downstairs.
We left for the hospital around 12:10 am. Ilya was trying to put the seat belt over me as I was dealing with another contraction. But I told him to forget it. When my contraction subsided I did put it on. At this point, I was legitimately afraid of giving birth in the car. I was telling Ilya that despite me being super loud I was doing OK so he wouldn’t freak out, that the loudness helped me deal with the pressure/pain. Ilya almost missed the Pacific turn to the hospital 😂, I was pointing and grunting: “Turn, turn.”
We made it to triage after 12:20 am. I told them my water broke. They were going to check me and told me to get off the wheelchair and get on the gurney in between contractions, I started getting up and then I guess they saw the amniotic sac or something and told me: “Never mind, sit down, we’re going to room 25.” Or I think it was 25 at least. Out went our birth plans copies stapled with Goldfish crackers and a square of Ghirardelli chocolate. They handed me a swab and told me to swab my nose for 10 seconds each for COVID, you know lol. As we were wheeling down the hallway, they were asking is this your first baby, is the pregnancy term? When I was being wheeled into the room, I saw supplies being opened and thought: “They’re moving fast, that’s a good sign!!!” They had me get on the bed between contractions. I was screaming, I’m sure, during contractions but still remembered and tried to deep breathe and relax in between. They had me and Ilya check names and birthdays on armbands. The nurses were super encouraging: “You got this mama!” “Good job!” They were impressed that I lasted this long with my first baby. The midwife Olivia got there pretty quick and I thought: “That’s also a good sign!” I was kind of on my side and the nurse held the baby monitor and supported my leg. They said they needed to put in an IV. I said that I didn’t want an IV. The nurse said they’d like to have IV access in case of a hemorrhage. I figured since I am already past the point of Oxytocin and Epidural administration and not really having much bravado to argue amidst contractions, I didn’t care too much, they can put in an IV. And on a nurse-to-nurse level, I understood her desire to be ready in case of an emergency. The nurse was trying to apply a tourniquet as I started to have another contraction. The midwife said something and the nurse relented. Later my husband told me that the midwife told them that they shouldn’t add to my pain. Go, midwife! I was pushing with contractions and no, pushing did not feel good. Oh, the pressure I felt down there! Surely it was on fire! At one point I took the cool washcloth that I brought with me that I used to wipe my face and dabbed down in the perineal area to relieve the burning. The midwife said: “You’re doing my job!” And I thought: “Girlfriend, why aren’t you coming through?” Haha. I think she was too focused as I was pretty close. I tried to relax and deep breathe between contractions. I shifted to my back as I felt bad for that nurse that was holding the baby monitor to my belly and holding my leg. I felt like I couldn’t put the whole weight of my leg down and still had to help support it. The midwife said: “Whatever you find comfortable.” I kept on thinking how I should’ve turned on all forth but kind of felt bad for that nurse with her monitor. I shouldn’t have. Maybe I wouldn’t tear but who knows?
I relaxed and deeply breathed as best I could but dang that pressure and burning! Wow! They told me I was close and doing good. They told me they could see baby’s head shortly after. They asked if I wanted to touch it. I said I did but I couldn’t really tell what was what when I reached. My husband was encouraging me. I pushed when told to push. Finally, the head emerged, then the body. My baby son pooped on me as he was emerging. The midwife told me of the poop and I said: “Probably not the last time…” :) We were trying to take my shirt and bra off for some skin to skin amidst all this.
The time of birth was 1:02 am. Roughly 30-40 minutes after arrival at the hospital. I didn’t cry when he was born. I was just thinking that heck we did it. I did it! Praise God! It felt surreal. I felt so relieved!
The nurse was trying to get baby to suck soon after and I just wanted him to do the crawl that I’ve learned about in the natural birth class. They left the cord intact for a few minutes. My husband got to cut it, he wasn’t sure if he’d be able to handle it but he did great. I felt more pressure down there. It was pretty uncomfortable. The midwife said that after I push the placenta out, I’d feel much better. I did! It was a relief. She said I had a minor first-degree tear. Thank the Lord it was only first degree!
Shortly after I gave birth, I got a leg cramp. Those were somewhat common for me towards the end of pregnancy. One of the nurses said that cramps should be illegal after giving birth. I could not agree more. I remember being so cold after giving birth, I kept on asking for warm blankets. I also received an intramuscular Oxytocin shot, although I wasn’t too thrilled about it as I did not have signs of excessive bleeding but regardless. The nurse asked me if I wanted to look at the placenta, to which I readily agreed. It was pretty amazing to take a look at the organ my body has created for this time.
I was sharing with the nurses how my goal was to give birth within two hours of arriving at the hospital although I knew this was quite unrealistic as a first-time mom. She told me how I’ve outdone myself. I also told them how surprised I was that I was with it. I kept on waiting for the time I’d go crazy and ask for epidurals and c-sections and lose all sense of time. However, I didn’t have those moments. On the contrary, I remembered helpful positions and techniques and had a sense of time and maybe that was because I was relying on myself for the majority of the labor process and thinking about not getting too excited because it was the first baby. When I had some people fussing over me, then I gave in a bit more but still not to the point where I was completely oblivious.
Something that kept me moving and encouraged me was that contractions had a definite end. I really could rest in between. Well, until the very end at least ha.
I was so grateful to Jesus that this birth was what I prayed for, even better. Crazy, huh?! I prayed to go into labor naturally - answered. I prayed to be able to leave for the hospital when my contractions were 2-3 minutes apart - answered. I prayed to give birth within two hours of arriving to the hospital - answered. I prayed to give birth naturally - answered. I prayed to give birth naturally in a hospital setting - answered. I prayed to have a healthy baby - answered.
I was holding our sweet baby boy (6 pounds 12 ounces and 20.25 inches of a perfectly healthy infant) just a little into the early morning of Friday, August 6th. Ironically, it’s also the birthday of my sister and cousin. When my family found out that I was pregnant and due on the third of August, one of my aunts suggested that I give birth on the sixth to keep up with the tradition. I couldn’t help but smirk to myself: “You asked, I delivered. Literally.”