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When did you realize you were really in labor?
I was in denial for a long time. After two previous inductions, going into spontaneous labor felt like too much to hope for. The day before my baby was born, I had constant Braxton Hicks. Everyone kept saying, "Maybe this is it!" But I kept insisting it wasn't. I just didn't want anyone to get their hopes up. But as the evening progressed, those "Braxton Hicks" started to hurt a little. Just a pinching, stinging pain that I felt most in my back. After texting my doula and birth photographer to give them a heads-up, I went to bed feeling a little uncomfortable and woke frequently to find that the contractions were coming pretty regularly, every 5 minutes or so. I couldn't sleep and got up to shower and, at some point, I started having to pause as the contractions hit because they were becoming painful. That's when I finally had to admit to myself...this really WAS it!
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What was the most challenging thing about going natural?
It sounds obvious, but pain management. Especially the back labor. I've had awful back labor with all three of my labors and nothing really helps. It's miserable. And also? Managing the fear. Fear of the pain. Fear that I will fail and won't get the birth that I so much want. Fear that the baby won't be okay. Learning to surrender to and embrace the fear is really important, but reeeeeeally hard for me.
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What was the most helpful thing you did to prepare for childbirth?
Ask a dear friend to act as my doula for the birth. She was present for the birth of my second child, too, and I knew she would be an invaluable support. We did a lot of talking in the last months of pregnancy about what kind of birth I wanted and it helped me to really articulate and visualize what I wanted to aim for on that day. We also created some birth affirmations that ran through my head during the peak of those difficult contractions and helped to give me strength and focus.
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What surprised you about your birth?
How much easier this birth was compared to my others! It wasn't pain-free by any means, but my first two babies were born after an induction. And induced contractions are CRAZY. They are constant and they HURT like nothing else. I got an epidural with my first and did it drug-free for my second, but that second birth was the hardest thing I've ever done physically. I was writhing in pain, screaming like a banshee. I lost it in so many ways. My third labor and delivery? Nothing like that. It hurt and it was hard, yes, but it didn't push me to my limits. I felt in control. I was scared I would want to give up, but in the end, I never felt like I would. It was amazing!
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It's always incredible, no matter how many times I do this. Just instant love and relief and joy and emotion.
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What pain relief strategies worked best?
Just being free to move around was helpful (versus being hooked up to a dozen different wires that made me feel inhibited and trapped, as in my second birth). Hip squeezing helped some (especially for that dang back labor), but by far, I found the most relief by sitting in some warm water in the bathtub. That was such sweet relief. Heaven.
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What position did you end up delivering in?
I was on my side for most of the pushing (which was really only one or two pushes) and the nurses flipped me onto my back in the last moment before he was born. That's the only thing that I really regret. I wish they wouldn't have forced me into a new position and I wish I would have chosen a different position to begin with -- squatting or upright on my knees, something that felt more powerful to me and maybe allowed me to watch my baby be born.
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How did it feel to hold your baby for the first time?
Incredible. It's always incredible, no matter how many times I do this. Just instant love and relief and joy and emotion. I was just so thankful he was here and he was mine. And so proud of myself for bringing him into the world in exactly the way I had hoped!
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What advice can you give to other mamas who want to go natural?
You have to be committed to it. I feel that if I had been wishy-washy and unsure if I REALLY wanted a natural birth, I probably would have begged for pain relief when the pain got to be too much. But I knew myself and what I wanted and WHY, and also that I would be really disappointed in myself if I gave up, so that kept me going. Also, have support. My husband and my doula-friend were there for me in a huge way. They both knew what I wanted and needed and gave me so much strength and encouragement. They helped to ensure my birth plan was followed, asked necessary questions, and kept me focused when things got real. And they always told me how well I was doing and how strong I was, which made me feel like a warrior. And nothing can replace that feeling!
