Natural Childbirth Books And Home Birth Videos Helped Anna During Her Home Birth

When did you realize you were really in labor?

I had contractions on and off all afternoon on June 19, but around 10pm when I couldn't fall asleep due to the discomfort I decided it was the start of the real thing. I managed them alone for a while, standing and swaying back and forth. I called my midwife at 1:30 when they were 5-1-1 and woke up my husband to fill the birthing pool. By 3am I was at 3-1-1 and the contractions were painful enough that I had to focus and breathe through each one. I spent most of the rest of my labor in the pool or standing and leaning on a dresser.
I lost my mucus plug sometime in the late morning and my water didn't break until 11am, so the contractions were the first sign of labor. My baby was born at 12:33pm on June 20.

What was the most challenging thing about going natural?

The most challenging part of the whole labor was the pushing stage. I pushed for 1.5 hours and had expected that it would just be a few minutes and few pushes and she'd be out. I felt my body stretching and thought her head was out, but it turned out she'd just begun her descent! So readjusting my expectations in that moment knowing that I had many more contractions to pass before I met my baby was the hardest part.
That being said, I actually felt such relief that I got to stay home and give birth where I felt comfortable and safe, surrounded by people I love and midwives who I trust completely. Even while I was pushing and it felt like I was going to break, I was so glad that I didn't have to go to a hospital with strangers telling me what to do and all sorts of interventions and invasive checks. So for me, having a hospital birth would have been much more scary and challenging than doing it at home was.

What was the most helpful thing you did to prepare for childbirth?

I read a lot of natural childbirth books and websites and watched a ton of home birth videos. I definitely recommend Ina May Gaskin's book for all the birth stories. It made me so empowered and excited for my home birth.
A friend gave me birth affirmation cards that I hung up in my birthing space and while I was in labor, especially during the pushing stage, it was so helpful to have my husband and my mom read the affirmations aloud for me. I was able to stay positive by focusing on sentiments like "my body and my baby are the perfect team" and "my body was made to give birth."
I also did a lot of yoga throughout my pregnancy, free online videos at home, and focused on third trimester prenatal yoga videos during the last few weeks. They really helped me to stay active the whole pregnancy and towards the end focus on poses and breathing that would help during labor. I was able to keep my jaw open the whole time!

What surprised you about your birth?

I wasn't prepared for how much it was going to hurt. It was a lot worse than I'd imagined, even though I'd read a lot and watched so many videos. I thought I was prepared but it was very different than I expected. I thought it would feel like stomach pain or period cramps and I was mentally ready for that, but I felt most contractions in my back.
I was also surprised by how hands-off my midwife was and how my body really knew what to do! She left my husband and me alone to labor as I pleased for most of the 12 hours and I thought she'd be there telling me what to do and what to expect, but we managed together and my body told me what to do next. My husband stayed with me the whole time and was so supportive, telling me to breathe, scooping poop out of the pool, and applying counter pressure hour after hour. It was great having those last moments together just the two of us.
Finally, I was unprepared for how much harder breastfeeding would be than labor! I thought the worst was over once the baby was out and in my arms, but for me the real challenge had just begun. Even though things improved after the first week, I was so overwhelmed by the pain and soreness those first few days. I spent more time crying than my baby did! I wish I had spent a lot more time reading about breastfeeding and talking to moms about what to expect and less time reading about pregnancy week-by-week and what size fruit my growing baby was.

You can do it!! Don't worry about all the things that could go wrong.

What pain relief strategies worked best?

Counter pressure was the biggest thing. Depending on the contraction, one hand on the sacrum or two hands pressing my hips together helped relieve so much pain. My husband worked hard during my labor too! If he wasn't right there at the start of each contraction, the pain would start to feel like too much to handle. As soon as he started pressing, I felt immense relief and was able to ride out each wave.
Focusing inward and working hard to keep my jaw open each exhale also made things easier. I made sure not to scream and instead used low grunts or growls and even used Ina May's recommended horse lips. Rather than clenching my hands into fists, I tried to always keep my palms open and facing upwards, like in yoga.
I also tried to rest between contractions by lying on the side of the pool. I think sometimes I was even able to get in mini naps so that I had energy to get through the next one.

What position did you end up delivering in?

I was on my hands and knees in the pool. I started having really sore wrists from staying in the position for so long while pushing, so my midwife suggested I put one knee up. I needed help switching to that position, but as soon as I did, my baby's head appeared! That gave me so much motivation to make it through the last few pushes. Once the midwife said she was out, I immediately reached into the water, lifted out my baby girl, and sat down, leaning against the pool wall.

How did it feel to hold your baby for the first time?

It felt amazing! It was so incredible to look down at that little face and realize that I had succeeded! I had the birth I dreamed about. The pain I had just felt was gone and suddenly I was smiling and happy. She had so much hair and it was unbelievable that such a big thing could have been inside me all that time. My husband and I looked at each other and knew that things would never be the same again.

What advice can you give to other mamas who want to go natural?

You can do it!! Don't worry about all the things that could go wrong. Choose a midwife who you trust, and know that if things don't go according to plan, she will know what needs to be done. Ignore scaremongers who will tell you stories about horrible labors and instead spend lots of time reading positive birth stories. Join a home birth group on facebook where you can feel supported and get any questions answered. Know that the pain is finite and at the end you'll hold a perfect baby in your arms!