Learning to Relax Helped Jenny Through Contractions During Her Hospital Birth

When did you realize you were really in labor?

#1 woke me up from an afternoon nap. It felt like really strong squeezing around my stomach and was regular, about every ten minutes.
#2 and #3 strong contractions began within an hour or two of getting my membranes stripped. They were both more than a week later than the due date.

What was the most challenging thing about going natural?

#1 was believing that I could actually do it. My first labor was actually a horrible experience because I fought the labor the entire time. I felt it was me against the hospital, me against the midwife, doctors, and nurses, me against my body. I was on guard the whole time and never relaxed. I only made it through the entire 25 hours because my mother was calmly reminding me the entire time that I could do this and that this was what I wanted and that every pain brought me closer to being done.

#2 was amazing and a wonderful experience. Yes, it was hard and yes it hurt, especially the last two hours (out of 12 hours) but it was empowering and exciting. I knew I could do it!

#3 was a repeat of #2 with the addition of some nasty back labor. But still a great experience.

The hardest challenge of a natural labor is the intense labor. It is a lot of work. People train physically and mentally for months and years to prepare for marathons but women don't do the same training for giving birth though it requires endurance and strength and confidence.

What was the most helpful thing you did to prepare for childbirth?

Practicing yoga breathing and consciously relaxing different muscles helped me prepare to relax during contractions and let my body do its work naturally- and reduced the pain of contractions an enormous amount. I know it helped because my first birth was so much more painful and much longer than the other two.

What surprised you about your birth?

It really does get easier with each birth. I was surprised by the ability of my body to actually give birth. Yes, a baby can really fit through that little opening!

Practicing yoga breathing and consciously relaxing different muscles helped me prepare to relax during contractions and let my body do its work naturally- and reduced the pain of contractions an enormous amount.

What pain relief strategies worked best?

Meditation, yoga breathing, having my husband repeat positive things (I wrote him a list), telling myself positive things, and listening to peaceful music and religious sermons.

Also warm showers. Showers are WAAAAY better than a birthing tub (baby #1) because you can easily walk around and lean on the walls and get out to use the toilet and my husband could stand in the shower with me and support me (he brought swim trunks to the hospital for #2 and #3). I didn't like the birthing tub as much because my husband had to lean over it to reach in and help me, it was hard to climb in and out unless I just peed in the tub, and getting out was cold. A shower heats up the whole room and usually there's a toilet right next to it.

Also with back labor, heat helped a lot so my husband used a long soccer sock filled with rice that we heated in the microwave. Then he would wrap it around my hips and back. Also during a contraction we found that if he stood behind me and gently lifted up on my stomach with his arms wrapped around me, it changed the angle of the baby just slightly to reduce the pressure on my lower back.

What position did you end up delivering in?

On my back (slightly reclined, not flat on my back) in bed with all three. I'm so tired by the end, I don't feel like I have the strength to hold myself up in anyway and push at the same time.

How did it feel to hold your baby for the first time?

#1 I felt relieved it was over and mostly emotionally numb- it ended up being the beginning of nine long months of severe postpartum depression so maybe I felt something else but that's all I remember.

#2 and #3 felt like I had just won a race, a huge adrenaline rush, so excited and happy. I was full of energy and not tired at all.

What advice can you give to other mamas who want to go natural?

Practice telling yourself that you can do this. Learn to control your thinking patterns- do not allow yourself to say things like "I can't do this" or "It's too hard." I thought it sounded corny to practice saying positive things but then when I was in the midst of it, it was like turning on a recording in my brain of me telling myself, "I can do this", "I get to see my baby soon", "My body was designed to do this", etc.

Also practice listening to your body and feeling different muscles contract and relax, then practice voluntarily relaxing those muscles. A good pilates or yoga class can help you learn this.