Hiring A Home Birth Midwife Helped Marylee During Her Hospital Birth

When did you realize you were really in labor?

I was at work. Monday morning I was 39 weeks and 4 days along, and I woke up with a strange feeling in my stomach. I went to work anyhow, and around 11am I realized I was having contractions and started timing them. At 3pm I knew they were for real, not a false alarm, and I took the next train home.

What was the most challenging thing about going natural?

I thought I was mentally prepared, after all I had been prepping for a home birth since before I even met my husband. Endless research and reading, a hypnobirthing class, everything went out the window when I felt how powerful and difficult contractions really are.

What was the most helpful thing you did to prepare for childbirth?

I hired the best home birth midwife I could find. She had two assistant student midwives, one of whom was also a nurse and doula. The three of them got me through what ended up being a marathon of a very difficult labor and birth. They stayed with me through two nights, trying to catch sleep when they could, but coaching me through what they described as one of the most difficult births they had ever seen.

What surprised you about your birth?

I didn't expect to end up in the hospital. My labor started off pretty quickly and I was expecting it to progress quickly and with no complications. However, when I was still only partially dilated and had been in labor for many hours, I started vomiting and could not stop. I couldn't keep anything down, not even water. I was in and out of my tub, my water had broken, I alternated resting and walking, but severe dehydration from vomiting caused my labor to completely stall. I was fully dilated and having a weak contraction only every 15-20 minutes. There was evidence of meconium but each check of the baby showed a good heart rate. After 33 hours of active labor my midwives and I made the call to transfer to the hospital. I took my time to pack a bag while my husband emptied the tub and the midwives tidied up. At the hospital they gave me fluid and anti-nausea medication via IV (after much trouble finding a vein), along with a "whiff of pitocin" and my labor began again. Seven hours later I began pushing. Another two hours of pushing and some significant tearing, but no epidural or episiotomy, and my daughter finally arrived!

It was instant relief. The ordeal I had just been through completely evaporated. I held my baby on my chest and just breathed her in.

What pain relief strategies worked best?

Having my midwives talk me through each contraction, especially at the end while I was on pitocin, really saved me. In the moment I couldn't remember anything from my hypnobirthing class, and I had a hard time focusing on my own. The midwives took turns and listening to their calming voices reminding me to breathe through them and not to fight it so much made a huge difference. I had a hard time communicating at the end and I found myself demanding that they "talk to me." Fortunately they knew what I meant!

What position did you end up delivering in?

Unfortunately I was on my back, legs up and purple pushing. It was exactly what I wanted to avoid. I am sure that my tearing would not have been so bad if I had been able to stand any other position. I was so exhausted, in so much pain, and having such a hard time getting the baby out that I really had no choice. She was 8 pounds 4 ounces, 21 inches long, and I ended up with two third degree tears.

How did it feel to hold your baby for the first time?

It was instant relief. The ordeal I had just been through completely evaporated. I held my baby on my chest and just breathed her in. It was several minutes before I even knew if she was a girl or boy. Nothing mattered except my baby was here and I didn't have to think about anything else.

What advice can you give to other mamas who want to go natural?

You have to make up your mind in advance that if the unexpected happens and you have to transfer to the hospital, you have to be okay with it. In the moment when everything is happening, you can't get obstinate about wanting to stay home. This also means that you need an experienced midwife, someone you can trust not to make the call too soon (you don't want "failure to progress" to actually be "failure to wait"), but you also have to decide in advance to trust your midwife when she says you need a hospital. The midwife, doula and partner support is so important because in the moment, you may not be capable of making decisions. If you have thought about these contingencies in advance then the decision is so much easier. It also helped that the hospital we picked in advance is very baby-friendly and homebirth-friendly, and we didn't receive any hassle over our decisions to avoid interventions. It was an hour before the cord was cut, no vitamin K shot or eye ointment, we took home the placenta, and we were able to go home that same day.