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When did you realize you were really in labor?
I came home from work early because I was feeling extremely tired. I was relaxing on the couch, trying to rest. I had been having a ton of Braxton Hicks contractions throughout the week, so I wasn't alarmed to be having a ton of them again that day. But around 5pm, the usual discomfort of the Braxton-Hicks turned into full out pain in my lower abdomen. I had been so worried about not knowing what a real contraction would feel like, but there I was knowing exactly what that pain was. Per our mid-wife's instructions, we tried to wait as long as possible before going to the hospital so as to limit the number of interventions. We were only able to wait 2.5 hours though before the intensity and frequency intensified.
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What was the most challenging thing about going natural?
My biggest challenge was the exhaustion and the mental barrier that began building as a result. I reached the point twice where I felt like I was done. I really thought I couldn't keep going. I wanted to quit so bad. The pain was overwhelming, and I was so nauseous. I certainly would have quit if it weren't for my partner and our nurse. I thought I had prepared for that quitting moment, but it was much more than I expected. I couldn't have done it without my supporters.
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What was the most helpful thing you did to prepare for childbirth?
The most helpful thing I did to prepare was research. I read every book I could on different techniques and approaches to try and find the best one for me. I then incorporated a little from each technique and felt empowered by what each one had to offer. I would also highly recommend a detailed birth plan, so that few to no decisions need to be made during duress.
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What surprised you about your birth?
I was surprised by how much the pain impacted my first encounter with my baby. I had read about the love hormones releasing, and I had prepared myself for that magical first moment where my baby and I would lay skin to skin and stare into each others' eyes. But I was so tired and so overwhelmed by the pain that I couldn't be totally present. It was nothing like in the movies. I was devastated at missing "the moment", and it really impacted my postpartum recovery. But the moment eventually came after some time and a lot of postpartum healing. Since, my baby and I have bonded through skin to skin contact and breastfeeding. We have fallen in love over and over again.
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Be kind to yourself, and don't go into it with any expectations. If it goes as you planned, great. If it doesn't, great! It will be difficult and painful or beautiful and magical or some other combination. However it goes, it's your experience and yours alone. Take time to heal afterwards, physically and emotionally. And during the contractions and the pushing, remember that "this too shall pass."
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What pain relief strategies worked best?
The pain relief strategies that worked best for me were positive affirmations from Hypnobirthing, a warm bath, and deep breathing. I had a whole bunch of other strategies laid out, but I stuck to these three in the moment. I was prepared to walk around and sit on the birthing ball, but being upright was extremely painful for me. I liked having options to choose from even though I went with just a few strategies. You never know what will work in that moment of extreme pain.
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What position did you end up delivering in?
I really, really wanted to deliver in the squatting position. I had trained for it, focused on it, meditated for it, you name it. But when the time came, I was too nauseous to be upright. I felt like I was going to be sick every time I lifted my head. So instead I delivered in a leaning back position with my partner and nurse supporting my legs. It was not what I had wanted, but it was what my body asked for in the moment.
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How did it feel to hold your baby for the first time?
It was tough for me because I was too tired and overwhelmed to really enjoy that first moment with my baby. The nurses were working on getting the placenta out, and I was bleeding too much. I really felt like I missed out in that moment, and it devastated me. I had these expectations of how beautiful and magical that moment would be, and it was nothing like that. I couldn't forgive myself, and it really affected my postpartum recovery. But my baby and I eventually got that moment back. It took time, but I healed. My baby and I bonded through skin to skin contact and breastfeeding, and we have since relived that moment over and over again.
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What advice can you give to other mamas who want to go natural?
Be kind to yourself, and don't go into it with any expectations. If it goes as you planned, great. If it doesn't, great! It will be difficult and painful or beautiful and magical or some other combination. However it goes, it's your experience and yours alone. Take time to heal afterwards, physically and emotionally. And during the contractions and the pushing, remember that "this too shall pass."
