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When did you realize you were really in labor?
Similar to my first birth, I had a lot of prodromal labor leading up to my birth. Given that my children are only 15 months apart and that I have been a birth doula for over 6 years you would think that I would be able to tell the difference between prodromal labor contractions and the real deal... but for many nights leading up to the birth I had been up pacing and breathing only to have things peter out by morning.
However, the day before labor began for real I finally got some bloody show and I was very thrilled. With my first birth my bloody show cam just as labor was starting so I was waiting with bated breath for some stronger contractions, but that day came and went with the same stop and start prodromal contractions that I had been having for days. Finally, around 4:30am on the day my son was born I woke up to noticeably stronger/crampier contractions. I stayed in bed and rested- they were about 10-12 mins apart. Around 6:30am my daughter came in and nursed and boom they went right to being every 4-6 minutes apart and there was no doubt that they were the real deal.
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What was the most challenging thing about going natural?
This birth was actually much more challenging than my first. My first delivery was also natural- a hospital water birth. It was slow and steady and while I was in labor for about 27 hrs it was easy to stay on top of the contractions. The most challenging part of this birth was how hard of a time I had getting into a routine that allowed me to cope with the contractions. This delivery went much quicker and the things that worked with my first delivery- the pool, hip squeezes, music... didn't work this time and I found myself fighting against the contractions much more. My mind just wanted to run away and not do this again and it wasn't until well into transition that I was finally able to surrender and let my mind relax to allow my baby to descend and be born.
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What was the most helpful thing you did to prepare for childbirth?
One thing that I found helpful in mentally preparing for both of my births was to choose 3 words that described my ideal birth that had nothing to do with the location or mode of delivery and then meditate on those words. Typically, this type of activity would seem a little too touchy/feely for me, but both of my pregnancies came during very stressful times of my life and this activity really helped me connect to the pregnancy and get my head wrapped around birth. For this birth my primary goal was that it be very family-centered. I felt like this baby was going to complete our family and I really wanted him to be born into that love and community. Ultimately, he was born as I had hoped with my husband by my side and my mom and daughter watching on.
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What surprised you about your birth?
There were a few things that surprised me. First, I was somewhat surprised at how drastically different my comfort measure preferences were the second time around. With my first, I had to stay upright and moving and need hip squeezes and water. This time I really just wanted to stay on hands and knees and have my very lower back massaged and otherwise just have things quiet and be left fairly well alone. Second, I was surprised when I began to feel anxious about pushing. While my first labor was long I had a very strong fetal ejection reflex and my daughter was born very fast leading to some tearing. It was an overwhelming and somewhat frightening sensation, but I didn't really realize that I was anxious about it until the time came to push again. If I were to do it over again, I would be more intentional about looking back at my first birth and identifying possible anxieties. Finally, I was amazed at the difference in the immediate postpartum care of a home birth vs a hospital birth. During my first birth I felt rushed out of the birth tub to deliver the placenta on the bed and then my provider took an hour and a half to stitch me up which kept me from holding or nursing my baby for much longer than I wanted. This time, the midwife let me take my time, I decided when we cut the cord, I nursed and I had the chance to eat and drink and rest before they numbed me and stitched my small tear. That part was a much more positive experience.
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What pain relief strategies worked best?
The shower worked great in early/early active labor. After that, I preferred to be in hands and knees and have one of the midwifery assistants (who was also a certified massage therapist) massage my lower back/butt.
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How did it feel to hold your baby for the first time?
Like such a relief. When I saw both of my babies for the first time I said "OH HI BABY! HI BABY! YOU'RE HERE!"
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What did you name your baby, and why?
We named him Micah. We like to use biblical names and it was a name that we had always loved.
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What advice can you give to other mamas who want to go natural?
If you really want to go natural than commit and prepare. I see a lot of moms who say that they plan to "try" to go natural, and while it always good the keep an open mind and know that birth is unpredictable if you truly want to have a natural birth than it requires work to set yourself up for success. Choose the best provider and location, focus on diet, focus on mental preparation and learn about birth and what to expect from the process and make sure that you have enough support.
