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When did you realize you were really in labor?
My first two births were precipitous births, and both times I woke up to the sensation of my cervix opening. That's how I knew Birth was imminent. They say that 3rd births are "wild cards", so I had no idea what to expect this time. I'd been feeling very uncomfortable and irritable all of Saturday night. I called my midwife Sunday morning just to complain about how uncomfortable I was - lots of "Braxton Hicks", but not labor. The same continued all of Sunday and I called again in the evening to complain again. My 2nd birth was so fast that my midwife missed it. I tore pretty bad with both births, so having my midwife there was really important. My midwife felt I was ready to go into labor, but I didn't want anyone here when I wasn't clearly in labor....but I also didn't want her to miss it!! My midwife suggested her assistant come and do some massage/cranio-sacral therapy to see if that would calm things down. (Though, really, what she was thinking was that I needed them to be over here to feel safe enough to go into labor, and she just wanted someone here). I agreed to this, of course. Around 9 pm the assistant began working on me - specifically she focused on the sphenoid. Within 10 minutes my "irritable contractions" took on a different quality. They weren't labory, but they were different. So we decided to call the midwife, just in case. With my previous labors I woke up to the sensation of my cervix opening with a contraction. This feeling was what I was waiting for. Finally around 12:30 am I had that sensation and knew I was finally in labor.
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What was the most challenging thing about going natural?
Because I had torn pretty bad previously, not tearing was a big focus this time. I'd torn, in part, because my labors were too fast. The hardest part about this labor was exercising control while pushing. It was a tricky juxtaposition of going with my body, not pushing as hard as I knew I could, and also melting around all those sensations.
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What was the most helpful thing you did to prepare for childbirth?
There were two things that I would say were the most helpful as I prepared for labor. The first was pelvic floor therapy. This not only helped me physically but also psychologically. Physically I was in pain 100% of the pregnancy and I honestly worried that I wouldn't be able to labor well simply because of my hips. PFT helped keep me strong and as in-line as I possibly could be. Psychologically, it helped me have confidence in my perineum and the strength of all those muscles required to give birth. After my 2nd birth PFT ended my PPD/PPA, and I really think doing this prenatally played a role in preventing anxiety. The second was doing art prompts from Birthing From Within. I had two dominant fears as I headed into the end of my pregnancy, which I won't go into specifically. I decided to do some of the art prompts and I found the burden of those worries completely lift. It was incredible!
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What surprised you about your birth?
The most surprising aspect of my birth was that it happened just as I'd visualized! My midwife and I had already discussed that, because of my previous precipitous labors and resulting traumas, I needed to be laying down for the actual birth. I envisioned myself laying on my left side. Two weeks before I gave birth my midwife showed me a picture of an en caul birth she had recently attended. When I saw that picture I knew - I felt from the depths of me - that THAT was how I'd give birth: on my side, in the caul. I painted a picture of what I visualized and hung it up in my Birthing space. And that's exactly what happened: I gave birth on my side, in the caul. (The painting can be viewed at Michelle Abernathy Art on FB and IG)
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Birth is hard work, it can be painful, but you can do it!
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What pain relief strategies worked best?
I found relief from rocking back and forth (sometimes hands and knees, sometimes with a ball), hand-held massager on my sacrum, and vocalizations. One of the assistants used massage and craniotomy-sacral therapy on my hips while I labored which was incredible. In my previous labor I breathed through all my contractions, so it took me by surprise how much I needed to vocalize this time - but I went with it!
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What position did you end up delivering in?
I ended up delivering on my left side with an assistant holding my right leg up, while I held my husband's hand and one of my daughters sat in his lap.
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How did it feel to hold your baby for the first time?
The years leading up to this pregnancy and the entirety of the pregnancy were extremely hard. I'd spent a solid year focusing on health and hyperemesis prevention followed by pregnancy. I was less sick during the pregnancy, but I was in pain 100% of the time and I had absolutely no energy until 34 weeks. It was so hard. All the work that went into every aspect of arriving at this birth, and then going through labor, Birthing just as I'd envisioned and over an intact perineum - to say the least, I was overwhelmed when my baby was in my arms. I sobbed with my midwife about how hard it all was and that I did it. There was so much relief. And Then I thought "We natural birthers are insane. We're insane. WHY do we do this?!" Ha!
After he was born we held a cord burning ceremony and we sang the following song that fit the whole pregnancy and birth so well: "Fire transform me, bring me to my passion (repeat)/ I choose life! I choose courage! (Repeat)/ To dance among the flames (repeat)."
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What advice can you give to other mamas who want to go natural?
Birth is hard work, it can be painful, but you can do it!
