Audrey Surrenders During Home Birth

When did you realize you were really in labor?

I'd had four days of stop-and-go labor. I was actually progressing and dialating, but then it would stop cold. And then pick up where it had left off the day before. It was very confusing and frustrating, considering we lived 150 miles into the Alaskan bush with no road access.
I was needing a distraction so my husband and I went canoeing on the lake our house sits on. We were in the middle of the lake when the hard, strong waves of active labor suddenly hit out of nowhere. My husband did most of the paddling back to the beach! We were joking and laughing about having to deliver her in the canoe!

What was the most challenging thing about going natural?

Trusting my body it knew what it was doing when my labor patterns were so out of character from my previous two births, and so unpredictable. My baby's heart rate was fine, so we went with it. It was an intense for four hours and I kept waiting and waiting for transition to merge into that wonderful, second stage urge to push and it never came. I had to push out my sweet girl posterior and asynclitic without any urge or guidance from my body.

What was the most helpful thing you did to prepare for childbirth?

Practice! Just my experiences with my past births, and all my training as a midwife. But really, my most helpful thing was just letting go. What would be, would be. Not stressing: "Is it now?" Hanging on to my birth ball and my husband and just letting me waves ride through, focusing on one at a time. Not how hard the last one was, or how much harder the next will be.

What surprised you about your birth?

Everything! It was just so unpredictable. And she wasn't posterior when we started, then to get to second stage and have my husband tell me: "I just felt her nose- she's posterior like Richie!"(My first). That and no urge to push! My second flew out and I don't have to do a thing! So with my third birth I was in second stage about an hour just saying, "Nope. I'm sleeping. Wake me up when my body starts pushing too" until my husband had to use my midwife voice on ME and get me to knuckle down and push her out.

The best outcomes come where there's the most confidence, assurance, support, and education. If you want it, go for it, mama!

What pain relief strategies worked best?

I had a lot of hard labor instantly with no gradual build up so not much helped except just needing to move, move move. I was most comfortable hanging over my birth ball on my knees, and having my hips squeezed. And sacro-illiac pressure.

What position did you end up delivering in?

I ended up totally on my back. I was so exhausted, and none of the other positions felt right. I really think she needed that to fix her asynclitic posterior positioning to pass under my pubic bone. As much as I cringe watching it. I want to tell myself to get up! But its where I needed to be.

How did it feel to hold your baby for the first time?

Surreal. It always does. I was releived she was there, and it was over! I suddenly got a surge of energy back and could've just about danced for the immeasurable joy. And I was shocked at how tiny she was!

What advice can you give to other mamas who want to go natural?

You can do it! Birth where and how you feel the most comfortable! Be it a hospital (my first was a natural hospital birth) at home (my second was born in the water in my living room) or even outside! (My third was born in the heart of the Alaskan bush in the woods, unassisted!) The best outcomes come where there's the most confidence, assurance, support, and education. If you want it, go for it, mama!