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When did you realize you were really in labor?
I had been having consistent prodromal labor since the day I turned 39 weeks. The day I finally went into active labor I was 41+5. I was woken up by the worst cramping/contracting I had experienced so far. I went to the bathroom and had bloody show. From that point on I knew it was the real deal! Immediately my back started to hurt pretty badly and I couldn’t sit or lie down without being in bad pain, but I was still surprised by how manageable the pain was.
A few hours later we went to the birth center and I thought I couldn’t be more than a few CM dilated since I was still laughing and talking as was relatively unphased by the pain. I assumed my midwife was going to send me home, but much to my surprise I was already 7CM!
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What was the most challenging thing about going natural?
I was in active labor for 63+ hours and my baby was asynclitic and posterior. Statistically very few babies who are in this position are born vaginally, much less unmedicated and completely naturally. Trusting that my body could and would Birth this baby was a challenge. I also, unfortunately, did not have very emotionally supportive or encouraging midwives. They were essentially waiting for me to give up and go to the hospital, but I just knew me and my tough little guy could do it. I had to fight HARD for any aspect of my birth plan I was able to hold onto and accept that many of the little aspects of my birth plan weren’t going to happen.
Going to almost 42 weeks(well technically to exactly 42+0 by the time he was born) was also challenging, especially with prodromal labor for almost 3 weeks. I was so scared I would go past the cutoff for birthing at my birthing center.
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What was the most helpful thing you did to prepare for childbirth?
I read a ton of positive birth stories on here and watched many beautiful natural birth videos. I made sure my husband knew what I needed from him. Being the birth partner of someone who chooses to go natural is no joke!
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What surprised you about your birth?
A lot! I had planned to rest during early labor, and the second active labor set in my back hurt too bad to sit down or lie down. I was also surprised by how easy labor was until transition. The biggest surprise was how I was fully dilated about 16 hours into labor, and spent almost two days like that in agonizing back labor with a baby in the worst possible position, and I was still able to power through and stay positive. The female body is absolutely incredible!
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You can do it! Believe in your body’s ability to birth and be patient and it will happen!
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What pain relief strategies worked best?
Since my entire labor was back labor(and regular front/uterine labor) there wasn’t much that gave me relief. In the beginning, walking helped a lot, and towards the end the tub was amazing. I had planned on stuff like counter pressure, but it all hurt my hips and spine even more due to his positioning.
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What position did you end up delivering in?
Never in my wildest dreams would I have thought I would ever coached-purple push a baby out in bed, but that’s how I ended up delivering. But I pushed everywhere from the tub, to standing up, to all fours, to my side, to a birthing stool(I did my best pushing here, but it was making baby’s heart rate decend), then finally on my back with my husband and birthing assistant holding my legs like in the movies. I actually regret agreeing to push on my back, but after three days I was running out of fight. I strongly suggest not pushing on your back. It hurts and it’s not effective.
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How did it feel to hold your baby for the first time?
Amazing! He and I have the strongest bond because of the insane experience we shared together. We had beautiful skin to skin time and nursed. He immediately had his eyes wide open and looked right at me like “mom what in the world just happened”. My first words to him were “we did it!”
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What advice can you give to other mamas who want to go natural?
Make sure you trust your birthing team! I was naive and thought since I was using midwives they would be completely supportive, but they were the complete opposite, and I think that lack of support and element of fear made labor longer and harder. I have actual PTSD from my labor which makes me sad because that shouldn’t happen to anyone, let alone with birthing centers midwives.
I also recommend deciding what elements of your birth plan you are firm on and what you are flexible on. I had to give up many little things, but stood firm on having the natural birth I wanted and knew I could have.
Lastly, you can do it! Believe in your body’s ability to birth and be patient and it will happen!
