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When did you realize you were really in labor?
I had days of early labor. My contractions were getting increasingly strong, but they weren't in a pattern or time-able. It was really hard because I thought things might pick up and I'd be excited that it might be time, only to lie down for a nap and have everything stop. It was really challenging to be patient. If it hadn't been my third labor, I'm sure I would've gone to the hospital much too soon. But, I knew that when it was real, everything would be consistent and increasing in intensity so I just waited and tried to do things to keep my mind busy. I ate a lot of good meals and nourished and rested up for labor. Finally, I started bleeding and contractions were coming without stopping. First they were 20 minutes apart, then 10, then 7, and finally about 4-5 minutes apart when we decided to go to the hospital.
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What was the most challenging thing about going natural?
The pain. It is incredibly painful. I'm in awe of birth videos I watch where women barely moan, calmly push their babies out, and catch them themselves. Once I hit transition it's very hard for me to stay calm. The pain is so intense that it makes me wild. I go into pure survival mode. I've never been coherent enough to catch my own baby. I am in a totally different zone just trying to make it through the contractions. I'm great at breathing and being calm in the first part of labor, however, anything past 8 centimeters is extremely challenging for me to remember my breath and to try to not tense up and "fight" the contraction.
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What was the most helpful thing you did to prepare for childbirth?
I always read lots of birth stories, watch birthing videos, and this time I ordered the Mama Natural birthing affirmation cards because I was having a lot of anxiety. I also walked a lot. I had good meals and snacked often, and drank lots of water.
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What surprised you about your birth?
How hard it was. This was my third natural delivery and it was my hardest yet. For some reason, this time, I did not feel the urge to push. I was in so much pain I was just writhing around and couldn't get focused enough to use the contraction to push. I literally felt like I was going to die. I think it's important as we talk about natural birth that women are prepared for the pain. Often, I think natural birth can be idealized as this magical experience. Honestly, for me, this birth was very traumatic. I couldn't sleep for two days because I kept replaying scenes from labor in my mind and could still recall the sensation of the pain. I am thankful that I did it, because my baby was alert and healthy and my body is recovering quickly, however, it was not a "magical and lovely" experience. It was hard as hell, more pain than I've ever experienced, and honestly makes me want an epidural if I ever have any more children (but we probably won't). I'm not intending to be negative, just honest about my experience. I'm still glad I did it naturally.
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Prepare, educate yourself, write a birth plan, watch documentaries, read birth stories, practice birth affirmations, have a good support team..
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What pain relief strategies worked best?
I stood up a lot for this birth. Lying down created pressure points that made the contractions worse. Rubbing my back felt good up to a point, but once I reached transition I didn't want to be touched.
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What position did you end up delivering in?
I was turned around backwards on the bed gripping the handles on my knees when I was pushing. As he started crowning the birthing team made my husband help me onto my back. They claimed it would help open up my pelvis so the baby could be pushed out easier. I really think that's completely untrue, it was simply an easier position for them to catch the baby in. I think it would have been better to stay as I was on my knees. It was incredibly painful to be flipped on my back in the middle of pushing. My husband and mother-in-law held my legs.
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How did it feel to hold your baby for the first time?
Absolutely surreal. He was so soft. I loved him immediately. However, I was also in immense pain and had to hand him off to my husband. I didn't have the strength to hold him. My vagina was on fire from pushing him out. I didn't experience immediate relief after giving birth the way I did the first two times. I was still in severe pain. But I was emotionally really relieved that my son was here and healthy and beautiful.
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What advice can you give to other mamas who want to go natural?
You have gotta want it and know why you want it. Every woman experiences birth differently, but for me, it's the absolute hardest thing (physically and mentally) I've ever done. Prepare, educate yourself, write a birth plan, watch documentaries, read birth stories, practice birth affirmations, have a good support team, etc.
