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When did you realize you were really in labor?
I realized that I was really in labor towards the end...as with my first birth, I was in denial until I was almost at the pushing stage.
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What was the most challenging thing about going natural?
Being my second natural birth, I found the most challenging (and most comforting) aspect to be already knowing what to expect and knowing what the next step would be. I knew and had experienced the level of pain that was about to come when I was at the the pushing stage, and it was hard to make myself push in that moment.
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What was the most helpful thing you did to prepare for childbirth?
The most helpful thing I did to prepare for this birth was to normalize the entire process. I felt really dis-empowered and traumatized by the experience of my first natural birth even though it sounded great when I was telling other people about it. Although, nothing went "wrong" during my first birth, and I had overly prepared for it, I didn't realize that you would be experiencing the birth from a state of alarm, like your house was on fire, and that you would forget most of what you had prepared for throughout the pregnancy. I had practiced breathing with an open jaw so much, and it was like my brain fell out of my head when I was going through my first labor. So this time, I didn't focus on educating myself about the process or focusing on relaxation techniques. Instead, I found that really taking a good look at my last birth and taking the time to process the experience and recognize all the different aspects of it that were very common experiences to have helped me to be more confident in the unpredictability, vulnerability, and the messiness of this birth. I left this birth feeling truly empowered and connected to the energy of the universe.
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What surprised you about your birth?
I was surprised at how different this birth was from my first one. I thought that everything would be mostly the same, but the contractions felt different than the first time, and the order of things was much different. I lost my mucus plug the first birth but not the second. I had a longer labor the second time than I did the first time. My labor started in the middle of the night instead of in the morning like it did the first time, etc.
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I would say, the best way to labor is wherever you are the MOST comfortable, whether that be at home or in the hospital
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What pain relief strategies worked best?
Breathing between contractions, and warm water was the best way to get through each contraction. The back labor during the second birth was more significant than the first and there was nothing that could really be done to resolve it...rather the breathing was essential in helping me to get through each contraction and then subsequent back spasms.
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What position did you end up delivering in?
I was pushing in the tub right up to the very end, but because our baby had a cord that was tightly wrapped around her neck, I was asked to immediately move to the bed. I had her while I was lying on my back in the bed.
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How did it feel to hold your baby for the first time?
It was such an emotional experience, my active labor was about 2 hours, so by the time she came out, I was still catching up mentally in realizing and processing what had just happened. I sat there with her on my stomach, just crying for at least 10 minutes before we picked her up and found out her gender.
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What advice can you give to other mamas who want to go natural?
I would say, the best way to labor is wherever you are the MOST comfortable, whether that be at home or in the hospitall, make sure that you are confident about the location ahead of time and don't have any doubts about where you would like to labor. Otherwise, I think it is absolutely key to have a doula who can breath with you through each contraction...as in right in front of you telling you when to take a breath in and out. Also, making sure you mentally prepare yourself for the process and help to normalize the process ahead of time so you realize and recognize that in going through labor you are entering a timeless community of women across generations and lifetimes that have all gone through similar experiences. Reading about how different cultures labor and celebrate their children and birth helped to see things from different perspectives and give less judgement to my single experience.