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When did you realize you were really in labor?
When I couldn't lay down and rest comfortably anymore (like I had been able to for days before). After having mild contractions that didn't increase in frequency or intensity, on and off for the past 4 days, I knew by Tuesday night that these contractions were different and coming like clockwork every 3-5 minutes.
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What was the most challenging thing about going natural?
Relaxing my body through the contractions. I had zero control over my body's reaction to the intense contractions and was shaking violently and uncontrollably.
Due to the out of control tremors I was experiencing I was unable to get out of bed and walk around or stand in the shower or do any of the position changes I had planned. I tried leaning/laying over the side of the bed with the bed raised but all I wanted to do was lay down and rest. Each contraction took hold of me and all I could do was turn onto my side, grab hold of something, and rock back and forth. I made it to 6 cm, almost 7 cm, and just knew I would not make it like this any longer. Not and be able to push. I knew what my options for pain relief were and I had already tried Stadol to avoid the epidural but it wasn't enough to relieve me of the shaking and sweating or enough to help me relax enough. My nurse, who used to teach natural childbirth classes and who had her children naturally, eventually asked me why I was trying to go natural. I told her I didn't want all of the other stuff that often comes along once you get an epidural. I think she could tell I was struggling with the decision to abandon this part of my birth plan and she assured me that I had not failed and that I had gone natural to a point and that that was ok if I couldn't get past that point.
I made the decision (my boyfriend thankfully didn't try and stop me. He knew I had reached my limit) to receive the epidural.
I believe it was just what my body needed to relax and rest enough to finish dilating and to be able to push.
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What was the most helpful thing you did to prepare for childbirth?
Research. I knew the different variations of the different outcomes of different interventions. I felt I was informed and educated enough to make the best decision for myself and know that it was ok for my original plan to need to change. It was the key to my not experiencing any guilt about how things turned out I believe.
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What surprised you about your birth?
The intensity of the contractions and the uncontrollable, physically violent, shaking I experienced all over my entire body. I wasn't prepared for the inability to relax. Also, how I felt when they placed my daughter on my belly. I could see this squirming, screaming, ball of purple arms and legs with what appeared to be a head full of jet black hair! It was the most surreal moment of my life. She was here and she was mine!
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Unlike anything I've ever experienced or ever will. I think I was in shock. Here she was, this baby i had carried inside for almost a year, who'd kicked me and shoved her feet into my ribs, she was here and she was mine and this part of my life could finally begin.
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What pain relief strategies worked best?
Prior to going to the hospital I used heat, baths, and rocking while on hands and knees. Once I'm the hospital I was trapped in my bed, in my body, by the uncontrollable shaking all over my body so I was unable to try much.
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What position did you end up delivering in?
On my back and in the stirrups since I got the epidural. Thankfully the pushing phase lasted less than 2 hours and no other interventions were needed as a result of the epidural.
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How did it feel to hold your baby for the first time?
Unlike anything I've ever experienced or ever will. I think I was in shock. Here she was, this baby i had carried inside for almost a year, who'd kicked me and shoved her feet into my ribs, she was here and she was mine and this part of my life could finally begin.
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What advice can you give to other mamas who want to go natural?
Be educated and informed. Go in knowing your plan may change and that's okay. Know all of your options and be able to advocate for yourself and your baby. That's what it's all about.
All the reasons I'd wanted to go natural initially became less of an issue once I realized I was not in control anymore. I did what I could to avoid the epidural for as long as possible but in the end I believe it was the best course of treatment for me. It allowed me to relax and rest and finish dilating.
