Listening, Reading and Watching Natural Homebirth Stories Helped R During Her Home Birth

When did you realize you were really in labor?

I went in to my midwife (41+3) to have my membranes swept a second time. That was at about noon. We had lunch and some errands after. I felt uncomfortable cramping, but had been feeling that sensation for a couple of weeks. Riding in the car seemed to make the the cramping more intense. We decided to go home (30 min. drive) to pick up the kids and go get a Christmas tree. I really just wanted to get out of the car and take a nap, but knew I couldn't keep avoiding things that caused contractions, even though at this point, I still believed the contractions to be false. We picked up the kids about 3 and drove into town to get a tree. I decided to use my contraction timer app at that point. I was uncomfortable and even starting to get a bit grumpy, but none of it was too intense. I was contracting every 5-7 min. with them lasting between 30 seconds and a min. They also were just in my cervix and below my belly button, unlike my last labor. I found out later that that is what Evening Primrose oil does to you.
We got home and I wanted peace and quiet and went strait to my room and sat on my birthing ball. Focusing on using my timer app and sitting on my labor ball seemed to really help. My husband came in several times to ask if it was time. I was annoyed by that and felt put on the spot and uncomfortable by the attention. I still didn't think it was time. Denial? After an hour or so I decided to take a screen shot of my timer app and text my midwife. She asked if it was time and I told her I felt really unsure. In the back of my mind I still thought for sure if she showed up I was going to be embarrassed and sending her home. I had to focus on the contractions and couldn't talk, but they still felt like the "false" contractions I had been experiencing for a couple weeks. I really wanted to be alone and not get any attention. So my midwife said she'd check back in 30 min. When she did, she called and I couldn't really answer her questions. I believe I was in the stage of primal brain they talk about, where energy focused on laboring makes a woman unable to make decisions or answer simple questions. My midwife said she'd head over in an hour. After getting off the phone I asked my husband to fill our jacuzzi tub. I felt like I would feel better in the tub. I still didn't feel any of this was real. It took about 30 min. to fill the tub and I remember saying, "I think the midwife should hurry". Which is weird because I still didn't think it was real. Luckily my midwife showed up early. I was in the tub laboring on my hands and knees, which sucked because I kept loosing feeling in them and having to adjust to get circulation back. I tried my side and lying on my back but it increased the intensity of the contractions. I labored in the tub for over an hour, though I can't really tell you exactly how long. At a point my body started pushing, and then I knew it was real. I could feel I was pushing against my cervix though, but couldn't help myself. I finally was able to tell my midwife and tell her I think she needed to break my waters. She suggested for me to change positions and labor on the toilet. She felt that would help break my waters. I was dreading getting out of the tub and sitting on the toilet because I knew my contractions would intensify, but with my husband's help I did get out and sat on the toilet. WHEW, did that increase the contractions! They were on top of each other, but my waters did not break. After about 10 or 15 minutes she told me she was prepared to break my water but she needed me on the bed. I couldn't get up for a bit because the contractions kept coming. Finally I got some respite, grabbed hubby by the shirt and almost shot up to standing afraid another contraction would keep me in place and I REALLY wanted this baby out!
I managed to waddle to the bed, but I feel very negative about laboring on my back so I stubbornly got on my bed on my side in a leaning position. The assistant monitored baby through a contraction while my midwife reached in to break my water. All very uncomfortable, right?! She says, "well, you still have a little lip to your cervix, so try not to push.". Ya right!! I wasn't doing anything, my body had full control. The next contraction was intense but I somehow managed to not push, or my body didn't anyway. The next contraction though my body took over full force! One LOOONG contraction with push, push, push! I couldn't stop and I could feel baby torpedoing down my birth canal, but couldn't manage to say anything because my body was working so hard. Finally as he was crowning and coming out all I could manage to say was "FIRE!" because of the ring of fire. All of a sudden, my docile, quiet midwife was "there" grabbing, tugging... something. I didn't know what was going on (I labor with my eyes closed). Then her assistant is there pushing on my stomach and I hear "push!" but I can't because her assistant is pushing on my belly in the wrong direction! And it hurts! Not like labor/delivery hurts, but in the "what the heck OWWW!" sort of way. The assistant called over and said, "Grab her leg!" and suddenly my sister's there grabbing my leg and I think, "oh ya, we called my sister, I forgot." I feel more tugging and pulling and I remember thinking, "Wow, huh, I wonder what's going on?". Then he was there, up on my chest. He was purple and not breathing or crying. We all reached in and rubbed him. He started breathing and crying and pinked up. The whole last of it was really only a minute or two at most. He ended up weighing 9# 8 oz, the biggest baby I've ever had, by over a pound!
Turns out, all that tugging and pulling was the baby's shoulder stuck in my public bone. My midwife and her assistant were very competent and exactly what I needed when I needed it. Quiet and hands off, then proficient and capable. Regardless of hiccup at the end, I think it was a beautiful birth that I'm glad to have had this experience.

What was the most challenging thing about going natural?

The most challenging was dealing with some people's negative views of birthing at home. Feeling like I needed to defend myself.

What was the most helpful thing you did to prepare for childbirth?

I think listening, reading and watching natural homebirth stories is one of the best things you can do to help yourself in seeing yourself in a successful homebirth situation. I think doing your best to avoid people's negativity about homebirth and also educating yourself on natural pain relief techniques is all helpful. Be educated on all the options - hypnobirthing and Hypnobabies are good ones.

What surprised you about your birth?

I thought my contractions would be the same as my last natural birth. I also thought I would experience heat flashes like I did the previous birth. And I also thought I would birth in water like my last birth, breaking my waters as I pushed like the last time. Lol
It was a lesson for me that even though I am the same person, labors can all be different. I was just as wonderful as my previous natural, but completely different. And thats OK.

Be confident in yourself. But don't get so locked into one train of thought that your birth can only go one way for you to be happy. Make sure you understand the work that goes into birthing naturally. It's good work. WONDERFUL work and it's all worth it!.

What pain relief strategies worked best?

For me, using the birthing ball in the beginning helped. Then using the jacuzzi tub. Having my husband right there to support me, for me to cling to. Also, every time I had a contraction I would tell myself, "I only have to get through this one!" And I also prayed and recited scripture to myself.

What position did you end up delivering in?

I ended up on my back, LOL, which was he one position I wanted to avoid. After all of it my midwife said it was a good thing I didn't birth in the tub like planned since he got stuck.

How did it feel to hold your baby for the first time?

It's always such an awesome feeling. An "I DID IT!....OH MY GOSH, HE'S REALLY HERE!.....OHHH, I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!" Sort of feeling.

I was also worried because he wasn't breathing, but that changed quickly.

What advice can you give to other mamas who want to go natural?

Be confident in yourself. But don't get so locked into one train of thought that your birth can only go one way for you to be happy. Make sure you understand the work that goes into birthing naturally. It's good work. WONDERFUL work and it's all worth it!. But don't get to end of your pregnancy without educating yourself. Also, remember those people who try to speak negatives into your experience are doing so because a) they don't know better and haven't experienced natural birth for themselves, b) are genuinely concerned for you and the baby because they have only heard horror stories (there's bad stories in hospitals too, c) feel that your "going natural" is somehow an insult to their hospital birth, or maybe they don't feel great about their birth experience and hide it by being judgmental or even lashing out.

Depending on the situation or person you could suggest they watch some YouTube videos of natural birth, invite them in on a midwife appt. or ignore them. You just don't need some people's negativity.
Blessings on your birth!