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When did you realize you were really in labor?
After going several days past the 40 weeks mark (according to my hospital I was exactly 42 weeks - but I had always doubted their calculation that didn't take into account my irregular cycles) sensations started on Monday morning. I had read and heard so many stories however of slow labors, stopping labors, fake labors; so I didn't want to get my hopes up that baby would be here very soon. But slowly during the day contractions started to get stronger. After 7,5 hours of frequent sensations (but still being able to go on with daily things, just focusing my breathing once they came up) I started humming when I got a contraction (every 5 minutes or so by that time). Then it finally ticked with me that this was really going to be it, and I called my husband to get closer. (3,5 hour later we left for the hospital, then 2 hours later our son Yahya was born)
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What was the most challenging thing about going natural?
Mostly, I found it difficult to not be able to have a hospital/birth center/midwife that could support a natural birth (not available at all here in Palestine where I gave birth - high medical standards, but little “natural” vision on birth). My only choice was the local hospital and the doctors I saw in the hospital were always unclear about how they would support my preference for natural birth. Once I arrived at my calculated due date, they did another ultrasound to check movement and water... and while all looked good and healthy the doctors still pushed for induction because my boy looked "small". I tried to discuss other options, but they were unreasonable, so I declined and left the hospital. Only to be back exactly 2 weeks later when I went into labor on my own and delivered a healthy boy (3,3 kg - so perfect weight btw). It felt strange to completely ignore their advice – they were experts after all, weren't they - but I was also convinced with all my information from other sources that it was right to wait. I did get a "second opinion" from a private doctor after a week, to make sure all was still fine and I felt confident waiting more.
Finally, I have to say that also going through transition was very intense and challenging - I definitely had the doubts of being able to continue (like so many women feel during that stage).
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What was the most helpful thing you did to prepare for childbirth?
- Reading lots of information about natural childbirth, the physics of the birthing process, techniques for coping and birthing stories. (Including the Mama Natural birth course) Overall I believe I heard so much about birth that once it happened to me, I could relate the sensations, emotions or reactions I had to the info I had (e.g. when I had to throw up at home I knew I was close to transition and we had to go to the hospital). Because I didn't have a doula or support team knowledgeable of natural child birth this info I had with me was great and allowed me to make the right decisions once in labor. (BTW My husband was a great support, but not super knowledgeable about childbirth).
- Using herbs and natural steps for a healthy pregnancy; e.g. I drank red raspberry leaf tea from my second trimester on, used cinnamon & sage in the last two weeks, did massage with Evening Primrose oil and ate lots of dates daily from my last two months on. I can stress that I believe RRL has been very helpful to support “effective” contractions and good health of the uterus.
- I used massage and essential oils (esp. on pressure points) in my last three weeks of pregnancy (starting from around my calculated week 39 for me). It def. helped to relax.
- I did do exercises from Spinning Babies, turned on my birthing ball and did simple exercises like squatting throughout my pregnancy to get and keep baby in optimal position and prepare my body for labor. My baby was breech until week 36 and from then on stayed in optimal position.
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What surprised you about your birth?
How well my body and I could deal with the contractions all day, (using movement, breathing, my birthing ball and positive energy from my husband and mother) - only once I hit transition and was about 8cm it got really intense and it felt very painful. It was so amazing to feel my body working effectively and smart to be able to bring my son healthy and naturally to this world.
Somehow I was surprised how much I recognized in my labor & delivery from all the birthing stories I read - thus how universal this experience is, giving me a lot of support during labor (while at the same time all stories are so unique!).
Lastly, after my experience during my checkups in the hospital, I was very defensive about how the midwife & nurses would support me during my labor & delivery (I couldn't meet my midwife beforehand and so I didn't expect them to be supportive of natural birth and I arrived at the hospital ready to "fight" - kind of ;)). I arrived as late as possible, knowing that how longer I was at the hospital the more interventions I risked (luckily I arrived about 2 hours before my son was born). So it was surprising in the end to see how supportive the hospital midwife was once she understood how committed I was to a natural birth. (She allowed to let the water break naturally, let me stay in hand knees position during monitoring, let me wait to start pushing until my body really started pushing, she let me push in hands and knees instead of on my back).
The other nurse however, who came to assist however made us clamp the cord after 1 min, in stead of the 5 or 10 minutes that we requested. She also gave our son vaccinations (Vit K and Heb B) and eye drops before he had the chance to breastfeed. After birth he was directly on my chest for a minute of 5 and then she said she wanted to check his breathing - but at the same time she also administered these shots and drops. I was too high from having my son finally there that I wasn't firm enough to prevent this - and though I thought about this beforehand, but it still surprised me it could happen so quickly. (If I would give birth a next time I would definitely try to prevent to, e.g. by stating more clear beforehand that vaccinations & eye drops should wait until we’ve breast fed, since Yahya did find my breast afterwards but barely sucked – this might have to do with his vaccinations).
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Reading about and confirming often to yourself what your body is capable of during birth will prepare your mind for this amazing experience. Learn what relaxes you and try to apply this during labor. Your body is so smart so just allow it to open up and bring your baby to you. Also: be sure to prepare for the postpartum period, especially breastfeeding!
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What pain relief strategies worked best?
With my contractions during the day I used focused breathing, movement, walking, dancing, swaying hips, birthing ball that greatly helped. I also kept myself busy during the day with light activities. Later on I started to vocalize low sounds with the contractions, which came very natural to me and helped to relax.
I did take a shower twice, but I felt it mainly just kept things progressing nicely (first showering at home made the contractions really intense) and I couldn't really find a comfortable position that helped me benefit from the water.
During transition I kept swaying my hips back and forth, low vocalizing and my husband massaging my neck and hair helped me (try to) relax my body. (I didn't like any touch anywhere else on my body). Calling on Allah and focusing on my end goal helped me get through the final hard part.
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What position did you end up delivering in?
On hands and knees on the hospital bed. It was my preferred choice while preparing and it felt very right at the moment as well (though I had to convince the hospital staff to allow me this). In this position I also could reach down and feel my baby coming which helped me get through it (and helped to prevent me tear!!).
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How did it feel to hold your baby for the first time?
Amazing of course! Pushing was quick but def. so so super intense, feeling everything. I remember thinking between contractions; I don't know if I want to push next time, it hurts!! But when my body started pushing of course I joined in because I wanted to meet our child. I just felt overjoyed to have him in my arms, right out my body directly in my arms, feeling his warm body and movements, smelling and hearing him. I just kept praising God and feeling overwhelmed and amazing.
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What advice can you give to other mamas who want to go natural?
Reading about and confirming often to yourself what your body is capable of during birth will prepare your mind for this amazing experience. Learn what relaxes you and try to apply this during labor. Your body is so smart so just allow it to open up and bring your baby to you. Also: be sure to prepare for the postpartum period, especially breastfeeding! The first week(s) breastfeeding can be hard so be sure you are informed and prepared about this as well!
