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When did you realize you were really in labor?
I had been in early labor all week. Five days before she was born, I had several hours of "menstrual cramps" that came regularly, several minutes apart. Since this was my first time, we called the doctor and were told to go in to the hospital. I was 1cm dilated and the contractions slowed down at the hospital, so we went back home. The patterned contractions came several more times that week, but would eventually subside each time. Thursday and Friday I gradually lost my mucus plug, and I had light bleeding throughout the night Friday night. Saturday evening, when my husband went to bed, I started having contractions again and moved to the living room to sit on the birth ball, listen to peaceful worship music and birth affirmations, and time them. I assumed they would go away like they had before. After laboring alone for several hours, I felt like I was getting really good practice at trying to completely relax my body through contractions that were becoming more intense than I had experienced before. After about four hours, several things started to change. I had felt peaceful and focused, even falling asleep between contractions, when suddenly I started to feel panicky, and my whole body started shaking. I was no longer content to be alone, and got into bed (suddenly tearful) with my husband and whimpered, "I don't want to be alone anymore!" Even though the contractions were only 8-9 minutes apart (they had been closer together earlier in the week several times!), I remembered reading something in the Bradley method book about the emotional signposts of labor, and started to wonder if I was in transition. I messaged my mom and sister (who live in another time zone, so it was only late afternoon for them) and
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What was the most challenging thing about going natural?
Mmmm, pushing for three hours, for sure. Overall, it was harder than I had expected. I also didn't expect or want to be a "noisy" laborer, but once my body started wanting to push, I couldn't suppress what I can only describe as a primal roar. It was so deep, powerful, and uncontrollable!
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What was the most helpful thing you did to prepare for childbirth?
I tried to prepare well, but I'm not sure what ended up being the most helpful at the end of the day. I read Active Birth by Balaskas early in my pregnancy, and that really influenced my birth plan and desire to be able to labor unrestricted and in various positions that would cooperate with gravity, my anatomy, and the baby's descent. During the last 3-4 months, I walked an average of 1.5-2 miles a day. I wasn't as disciplined with my squats and kegels, but I did them several times a week. Starting at week 34, I drank red raspberry leaf tea every day, and ate quite a few dates the last month. I listened to the Mama Natural birth affirmations many mornings on my walks, interspersed with some affirmations I had recorded myself based on what I was reading, and (the last two weeks) affirmations and breathing instructions from the Gentle Birth app. I would often pray about what I was hearing in the affirmations, asking God to prepare me and surrendering to His will for my baby and the birth, whatever it might look like. I felt like it was a long journey in releasing control, and I'm glad I started the process early on!
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What surprised you about your birth?
Although I was at 7cm when I arrived to the hospital and the general consensus was that the baby would come quickly, I still had 11 hours to go after that. I was surprised to find myself agreeing to have my water broken after 8 hours of not progressing, and surprised to agree to a last-minute episiotomy to help my sweet daughter make her entrance, but I don't regret either decision. My doctor was very on-board with my birth plan, and let me go a long time without even suggesting those interventions.
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It was an amazing relief after the frustration and discouragement of those last 45 minutes of pushing. I loved seeing my husband's face, as well. Love at first sight. ;)
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What pain relief strategies worked best?
I spent probably 60% of my labor (at home and at the hospital) sitting on the birth ball, leaning my upper body on the back of the couch and then the hospital bed. When I would forget to sway my hips, my doula would remind me. I spent most of the pushing phase with the birth ball on top of the bed. I was on my knees, leaning over on top of the birth ball. There were also probably 15 or 20 contractions in which my husband and I stood facing each other, with his arms supporting me and me essentially hugging his waste through the contraction (we had intended to slow dance... that didn't work as well as I had imagined. ha!). Early in labor at the hospital, I began doing a lot of low moaning. As I mentioned, during the pushing phase I found myself, well.... roaring. :) I had prepared lots of options that I knew i might or might not end up using, to calm myself. I had brought some verses of Scripture on peaceful pictures which I had intended to stare at and meditate on, but I actually had my eyes closed almost the entire labor. What was a huge help, at home and at the hospital, was a playlist of worship songs that I had carefully selected to remind me of the goodness of God, His presence with me and faithfulness, and what Christ did for us on the cross. I wanted my mind to be lifted above the pain of the labor to bigger truth, a bigger story - The Story. And I wanted to worship my Creator and Savior throughout. I didn't want this to be a day, of all days, that I turned away from Him because of the pain. I wanted to turn to Him and focus on who He is, in the midst of the pain. Although it got harder to focus on anything toward the end of the labor, even then my doula and husband helped me turn my attention where I wanted it to be (on Jesus), and at that point I was just crying out to Him to help me. I am so grateful that He was faithful, present, and worthy of my worship the entire time - as He is every day of my life. :)
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What position did you end up delivering in?
Unfortunately, on my back. Although this is the one thing about my labor that I regret, I also trust that my doctor knew what she was doing when she finally insisted on that after letting me push on my knees/leaning on the ball for more than two hours. I pushed on my back for about 45 minutes, and then my sweet girl arrived.
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How did it feel to hold your baby for the first time?
It was an amazing relief after the frustration and discouragement of those last 45 minutes of pushing. I loved seeing my husband's face, as well. Love at first sight. ;)
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What advice can you give to other mamas who want to go natural?
Prepare as much as you can (physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually), and try to find key people to support you during the birth. My husband was such a reassuring presence, emotionally. I needed him with me during every contraction. But he and I were both totally new at this! My "doula" (a friend who had been a L&D nurse for 15 years and had delivered all her children naturally) was the experienced presence. It was so, so helpful to hear her voice in my ear saying "Yes! This is good, Ashley. This is what we need to happen. You're doing just what you need to do" (even when I started roaring!). And, I think this was my big takeaway after processing it all: trust God, and trust your doctor. Although a few things went differently than I had "planned," and although my doctor showed great respect for my plan and instructed the other staff to "let Ashley do whatever she wants" through all those hours of labor, I had chosen ahead of time that I would trust her to act in the best interests of my baby. And when, after letting me go with my plan for many hours, she finally bent over to tell me it was time to try something different, I trusted her and cooperated. The result? My sweet girl was eventually in my arms. :)
