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When did you realize you were really in labor?
The day before my due date, I started having prodromal labor. I hadn't experienced prodromal labor before, so I thought this might be the real thing. I texted my doula in the early evening, and she told me to lie down and try to rest. If it was actually labor, my contractions would continue to progress, but if not, they would likely slow down. I had been active all day with my two-year-old, but when I lay down, my contractions slowed, and I actually had the best night's sleep I'd had in weeks!
I started having contractions again the next afternoon, but thought they were prodromal labor again - I even told my mom not to come until the following morning, as I didn't think I would have the baby until the next day at least. However, my contractions continued to get stronger and closer together. I remember sitting at dinner around 6:00 pm with my toddler on my lap and having a contraction that made me pause. At that point, I started to think it could be the real deal. After my husband put our toddler to bed, I told him to get some sleep, because the baby might come tonight. I lay down and tried to rest, but my contractions continued to progress, pretty quickly. Around 10:30 pm, I woke my husband up - this was definitely it! My doula and midwife were about an hour away, so I called both of them around 11:00, and they arrived shortly after midnight.
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What was the most challenging thing about going natural?
Letting go of the opinions of people close to me (and not close to me!) who didn't want me to. For my first baby, I had really wanted to go natural, but I didn't surround myself with people who supported that vision. My OBGYN was great but made it clear she didn't think I could go without an epidural for my first birth. "You can try and see how far you get" were her words. My husband, mom, and aunt who I'm close with wanted to support what I wanted, but let their fear for me get in the way. None of them wanted me to experience pain, and they couldn't really understand why I wanted a natural birth, even when I tried to explain. I ended up having an epidural for my first - given that my water broke in the first 10 hours of 42-hour labor during a hospital birth with no support team, I'm just grateful I was able to give birth vaginally.
For my second baby, the challenges were the same -I knew I wanted to do things very differently and I really had to fight against the fears that my family and friends had around the pain of labor and this time around, the safety of home birth.
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labor
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What was the most helpful thing you did to prepare for childbirth?
I empowered myself with knowledge and a support team. I did research, read hundreds of birth stories, watched birth videos and surrounded myself with a birth team with the knowledge and expertise to support my goal. My midwife and doula were both amazing, and they helped give me the confidence I needed to believe that I could give birth without epidural and other interventions, despite the fears of those around me. At the end of my pregnancy, I started to have some fear, since I had an epidural for my first baby. My doula helped me focus on what I had accomplished in my first labor, and helped me realize that I had all the tools I needed to have a natural birth. I learned how to trust my body and the process
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What surprised you about your birth?
How fast it went compared to the last time! I knew that first births are frequently longer, especially since I had an epidural when I was only 4 cm dilated for my first birth, so I was hoping labor would be shorter, but it was even shorter and better than I hoped! My contractions started to get more intense around 7:00 pm, but I was able to manage them really well. My midwife and doula arrived around midnight when my contractions were only 1 to 2 minutes apart, and my baby boy was born less than 2 hours later at 1:57 am. Also, I only pushed for about 15 minutes, compared to 50 minutes of pushing with my first.
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Trust yourself and the process of birth - have faith that our bodies were designed to do this.
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What pain relief strategies worked best?
For most of my labor, I was able to breathe through my contractions, but towards the end, I definitely needed to vocalize! Doing low, deep vocalizations really helped, as did my doula rubbing my lower back during contractions. Being able to change positions to what felt best in the moment helped too.
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How did it feel to hold your baby for the first time?
Incredible! I was on all fours when I pushed him out, and my midwife placed him right under me. At first, I just stared at him - I was in shock that I had done it and he was finally here. Then my midwife exclaimed, "pick him up!" and when I did, a wave of joy and relief washed over me.
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What did you name your baby, and why?
Archer Lawrence. We had a very hard time selecting a boy's name, but ultimately both really liked Archer. Lawrence is after my uncle, and because we wanted a saint's name for his patron saint.
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What advice can you give to other mamas who want to go natural?
Trust yourself and the process of birth - have faith that our bodies were designed to do this. Especially if your partner or family doesn't understand natural birth, make sure you have at least one person (midwife, doula, etc.) who knows what they are doing and can support your goal and reassure you if you start to feel doubt. Know that it is completely worth it, and you can do it!
