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When did you realize you were really in labor?
I walked every single day in the last trimester. But this day, I pushed through two walks and I felt very tired. I finally realized how purple my feet were. I had my second doctor’s appointment of the week – 5 days past my due date - and I was not thrilled about going in and hearing my doctor give me options to get her out. I went in for a sonogram then headed to the doctor’s office. The receptionist called me up to the window and said “the nurse said your sonogram looks good, we will see you on Monday at your 41 week appointment.” I walked out of the office and called my doula. It seemed strange. But I had also convinced myself that I was going to get checked because I had been checked every week up to this point. I wanted to hear that there was more progression. I went back in the office and asked the nurse if I could be checked. She said sure, so the doctor checked me and there was little progression. I was now 80% effaced, but still 4cm dilated and a +2 station. She told me that if I make it to my 41 week appointment the following week that she would “need to strip my membranes” or “talk about induction.” I was quite irritable that day, not knowing labor was just around the corner, and I was plain angry. I knew I could have a natural and unmedicated pregnancy and birth.. I was confident, along with my husband and my doula…. But my doctor wasn’t. It just made me annoyed because I feel physicians are so caught up with the majority of their patients asking for inductions or drugs that they forget about the people who actually WANT to do things naturally.
I head home.. tail between my legs.. feeling a little down. When was this baby going to make her debut? I, for once, was hoping that she waited two more days so that it would bypass Friday the 13th which was also a triple odd birthday 11/13/15. I have always disliked odd numbers..
Around 5:30, I started getting contractions. I sat on the birthing ball every time I had contractions to try and work in tandem with them in getting the baby lower and even more engaged. The contractions started at about 1 minute in duration but within an hour and a half the frequency went from around 6 minutes apart down to 3 minutes apart. Looking back, I knew it was real this time because they stopped me in my tracks.. they took concentration. My doula told me she would need an hour from the time I called to be at my door, so I called her non-chalantly and told her the frequency. She said “this is REAL, Porter!” but I continued to deny it because I had so many false labor pains previously. I thought it was just a result of the doctor checking me earlier that day. But, Haley said she would come anyways just in case (although I know she knew it was real!)
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What was the most challenging thing about going natural?
Before going natural, I do not believe this would not have been my answer. But the most challenging part, because I was at a hospital under the care of OBGYN, was walking the fine line of being in a medical setting. The nurses were so receptive of my natural birth plan, thank goodness, but after about 9 hours of labor and being dilated to 9cm, I decided that I did want my bag of waters broken. The nurse told me the doctor is not available to break my water until she makes her rounds at 7:00am. I was told this at about 3:00am. She finally came and broke my water and within 30 minutes of laboring leaning forward on the bed while sitting on the birthing ball, I was ready to push. Another example of the challenge of walking the fine line with the medical staff were small things, like them trying to force me to ride in a wheelchair to the delivery room and also to my recovery room. I wanted to walk, and I was able to stand my ground in the end. But, to be completely honest, making sure my agenda was received was most challenging. The actual natural labor and birth experience was not as challenging as I expected it, looking back. Wow, I never thought I would say that!
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What was the most helpful thing you did to prepare for childbirth?
Mental preparation, mental preparation, mental preparation. Yes, you can prepare your body by eating right, exercising, sitting on the birthing ball, stretches, drinking red raspberry leaf tea-- all those good things. But, I believe there is only so much physical preparation you can do. Mental preparation, on the other hand, was the most helpful thing I did. I did not read or listen to any negative birth stories, I always kept a positive mindset with positive affirmations. I studied hypnobirthing for breathing techniques and I would listen to Childbirth in the Glory by Janet Angela Mills every morning for positive thinking throughout the day. It reminded me that my daughter was still being fearfully and wonderfully made in me. I read several books that kept me committed to my decision that a natural, unmedicated birth was the best option. I also talked to my doula often because she continuously reminded me that everything I was feeling, mentally and physically, were positive for my progression.
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What surprised you about your birth?
What surprised me the most about my birth was the feeling immediately when she was born - it surprised me because I imagined smiling and crying and giddy. But, I was more in a euphoric state. It was almost a daze caused by the rush of emotions and hormones, along with utter exhaustion. I compare it to finishing a marathon (or a half marathon because I have never run a full one!) where you feel so accomplished but you just need a minute to sit there in stillness. We delayed her bath and she just laid on my chest, my husband and I just staring at her in amazement. It wasn’t until later that evening that we got some time to ourselves again. I played a playlist of songs we made specifically for her and the tears began to flow.. that was when I had finally relaxed and had an amazing smiling and crying bonding moment with my new family of three that I had initially imagined.
What also surprised me was that the healing process was 10 times easier than I thought it would be. I only took some ibuprofen intermittently for a pulled muscle in my side from pushing. I walked to my recovery room and rinsed off in the shower just hours after her birth. I truly felt great. I think I had heard all of the crazy stories and surprised myself that I didn’t fall into those shoes.
The third thing that surprised me was the tactics I ended up using. Looking back, during my 15 hours of labor, I didn’t use as many of the multiple tactics that I read. I mentally said the colors of the rainbow during each contraction, it gave me something to focus on. And lastly, I breathed long and relaxed breaths during the contractions in which the exhale was a low hum.
Lastly, I was extremely surprised that pushing came as a relief. Not the pushing itself, but the breaks in between the pushing were longer than I expected and gave me a second to relax.
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Do anything to become mentally prepared.. Watch movies, read books, listen to podcasts, read positive natural birth stories, etc. Trust that your body was made for childbirth. Your body will produce the only natural drugs you need. Allow your baby to arrive in this world with a fresh mind and body.
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What pain relief strategies worked best?
The deep breathing with a hum on the exhale as mentioned before. I did not like using the hands on pain relief strategies that I had studied.
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What position did you end up delivering in?
I actually delivered on my back.
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How did it feel to hold your baby for the first time?
It was the most amazing feeling. She was so alert and her eyes were wide open, latching immediately. The feeling of her warm skin on mine was the absolute best feeling. If she wasn't so tiny, I had the feeling of wanting to give her a big bear hug!
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What advice can you give to other mamas who want to go natural?
Do anything to become mentally prepared.. Watch movies, read books, listen to podcasts, read positive natural birth stories, etc. Trust that your body was made for childbirth. Your body will produce the only natural drugs you need. Allow your baby to arrive in this world with a fresh mind and body.
