QOTW: Could YOUR man watch the kid(s) on his own for a weekend? Would you feel comfortable letting him?
Olympic pregnancy, Kelly Preston’s got crunch, and men watching the babies. It’s episode 39 of the Mama Natural Show.
This week’s giveaway is by a mama in our community, children’s book author Maria Dismondy. One lucky mama will win signed copies of her books Spaghetti in a Hot Dog Bun and Pink Tiara Cookies for Three.
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First up, for 12 Centuries, women were not even allowed to participate in the ancient Olympic Games.
It wasn’t until the Paris games in 1900 that the first woman competed.
And that was in lawn tennis, golf…
and yes, the ever grueling game of croquet
Let’s just say… women have not always been well represented.
Add pregnancy to that equation, and forget about it!
Until now.
A pregnant Malaysian named Nur Suryani Taibi was just given permission to compete in London’s summer Olympics.
You might ask, what sport favors an athlete competing during her THIRD trimester?
Well, sports like rugby, gymnastics, and Taekwondo are out.
Maybe badminton?
Actually, Nuri is a fierce competitor in — shooting. That’s right, women have tested their accuracy and speed with firearms since the 1984 Olympics.
Of course, her pregnancy forces a couple limitations.
Namely, she can’t compete in the events that require her to lie in the prone position.
Nor can she attend the closing ceremony, due to doctor’s orders not to fly that late in her pregnancy.
However, it’s clear that Nuri has the upper hand in the competition.
After all, there’s nothing fiercer than a hormonal woman with a weapon!
Nuri, good luck at the summer games.
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Next up, I loved reading a People.com article about mom Kelly Preston, wife of actor John Travolta, and how crunchy she is from breastfeeding to co-sleeping to living chemical free.
If you remember, a few years back, she tragically lost her son Jett due to complications with seizures. I know that they worked so hard on healing his many health issues using natural remedies and it was so sad to see it end that way when it began so peacefully… with a water birth and the room was filled with soft light and soothing music.
It was then such a joy to read that miraculously, that Kelly became pregnant with another child at the age of 48! Dang!
About the pregnancy, she said “when I found out I was pregnant, I was floored. I’d snuck out of bed and then came back and woke Johnny up in bed. We both started crying. It was wonderful.”
They welcomed Benjamin Hunter Kaleo Travolta in November of 2010 and he’s apparently doing wonderful…
According to Kelly, he’s 16 months old now, still nursing like a champ… in fact, he often comes up to her saying “mommy, more, more!”
He also is dining on filet mingon, scallops, spinach and anything else that comes his way. Kelly and John are co-sleeping with little Ben and eschewing any type of schedule. Sounds like they’re relishing each and every moment.
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Now it’s time for some community news!
First up, natural mama Chaille from Melbourne, Australia, gave birth to her baby boy Noah Drew who weighed in at 6 lbs 6 ounces on March 6th at 5:15pm.
Her story is absolutely incredible, tragic, heroic and sacred. You see, Noah’s dad, Andrew, took his life only 3 days after learning she was pregnant. He had a history of mental illness and a troubled past, including being a victim of stalking. According to Chaille, he felt by leaving this world he was protecting the well-being of his family.
Obviously, Chaille was heartbroken but she was determined to give her all to the life growing inside of her. When the day finally came to deliver, she was in labor a total of 18 hours but things got fast and furious towards the end. At one point, she dilated from 4cm to 10cm in 40 minutes and was able to push him out in only 3 tries. WOW! The birth was completely natural although she did tear badly, probably from the accelerated birth, and required surgery.
Despite it all, she said her labor was the happiest experience of her life. Baby Noah is a beautiful old soul that looks just like daddy. His spirit lives on!
Congratulations to you Chaille, you are one tough mama, and to baby boy Noah. Wishing you all the blessings you can handle.
++++
Next up, natural mama Zahra due date was February 5th. But her baby had other plans… she woke up on January 2 to a broken water bag. 15 minutes later, contractions started. One hour later, she and husband went to hospital and the nurses were surprised to find her 8 centimeters dilated despite her calmness. They rushed her to a delivery room and asked if she wanted an epidural. Love this, she said well if the pain gets to where I can’t handle it then maybe. The nurse said well this is as bad as it will get. She said, oh then I will be fine.
An hour later and after only 15 minutes of pushing, Ahmad Jasim Jabir was born at 8:15 a.m. Since he was early, he was a peanut, weighing in at 4 lbs 10 ozs and was 18 inches long. He had to stay in the NICU for almost 3 weeks, but is home with now, is a great breastfeeder and family is happy as can be.
And as mama said herself, “if all of my births are this easy then I think I might have quite a few children.”
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Lastly, Nauana from England is pregnant and almost 19 weeks. She has a 18 month baby girl and mama is committed to breastfeeding her as long as she wants and even tandem nursing. Nauana had a traumatic first delivery but she’s
committed to going natural again and overcome the trauma with a hopefully easier birth. Rooting for you, mama! Congratulations!
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Finally, in most families, mamas are still the primary parent. We’re the ones kids go to when they need comforting or a cuddle.
But thank God that we live in a generation of more hands-on daddies! And it’s so necessary! With many dual income families, dads have to take a more active role in raising kids. And we’ve talked about her on this show how it’s beneficial for EVERYONE! Not just emotionally but even physically.
So dads are stepping up, and that’s great. But just how far can dads step up?
• Watching the kids for an afternoon? No problem for the majority of dads.
• Getting the kids well-fed and cleaned up afterwards? Most dads can handle that, right?
• Putting the kids to bed? That’s where we start to see some drop off. Especially when kids are young. Most men are plenty comfortable letting mom take charge of this task.
• What about parenting solo for a whole weekend? Now things get interesting. Sure, our men have some childcare chops, but can they handle EVERYTHING – sunrise to sunset – without the mama safety net?
Based on a little informal Mama Natural survey of papas with toddlers and younger kids, the answer is… maybe?
And that answer makes us mamas take a hard look in the mirror too. Would we LET our men watch the kids solo for a weekend? Have we involved and empowered them enough in parenting to let them do so?
Tricky stuff! And something I’ll find out about in a few weeks when my mom and I travel out of state for a wedding and Mike and lil’ G fly solo for the weekend here at home.
Well, all this brings us to our question of the week!
Could YOUR husband or partner watch the kid(s) on his own for a long-weekend? Would you let him try?
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{ 62 comments… read them below or add one }
Could hubby parent-solo for a weekend: yes I’m pretty sure he will be more than fine. Will the laundry get done, dinner made, house tidied up and still manage to get some work done? Hmm, don’t know about that one! So far in the past 4.5 months Daddy has only been ‘in charge’ for about 3 hours in a row. However, we are probably switching roles in July if I teach summer school so it will be interesting to see how that pans out! Daddy is always saying that he wishes he could stay at home and play all day
Rebecca recently posted Three Things Thursday
I second the cleaning and cooking… LOL!
Yep, my hubby could handle our 12m daughter for a weekend if need be. But my daughter and I would miss one another terribly! (At least, I hope she would miss me…) So far we’ve never been apart for more than 6 hours, and never overnight. But my husband could handle it. He wouldn’t get ANYTHING else done that weekend, though, as time management is not his strong suit.
Ya sure
it needs two to tango, i mean it’s his son to! My hubby takes our son out weekly for a football play or just for a walk. And i know that it’s important for my husband that they have a strong bond and he wants our son to trust him and feel safe with both mommy and daddy 
And i feel like if i let my hubby take care of our son, he will get a feeling of me trusting him..
Yes, daddy bonding time is essential!
My hubby has watched our little girl for the weekend twice:) Once when I had to go to Mt. Shasta for a couple days and the other just recently when he, not only watched her by himself for 2 days, he also got her ready for an out of town wedding . And since I was in with all the celebrations he just took over baby watching duties without a second thought. I believe that a Papa has the same capabilities and responsibilities to the child as the mommy. A baby is exactly half you and half them (even though it might seem that way). TRUST them and let go over the mommy control, and it might just amaze you. Plus there is nothing sexier than your man doing baby duties
Amen! Love your perspective.
Yes, my man can!
He already has and it included taking our 2 year old little boy Brendan on a 3 hour road trip up to my husband’s parents place – giving this mama a 3 day weekend all to myself. Which was WONDERFUL because I was 7 months pregnant with our 2nd boy, exhausted and needed A BREAK! I wasn’t worried one bit because my husband is a Pro at being a Dad…everyday! To feeding, changing diapers, even down to Brendan’s schedule, my husband knew what to do! and my hubby is especially good at takingg advantage of those special moments of quality time with his little boy whether is be working in the garage together, taking the garbage to the corner, reading books or just playing, you couldn’t find a happier dad (or little boy!) in the world! I am truely blessed and thankful for such a great husband and amazing father!
That’s wonderful!!
Yes, my husband is wonderful with the kids and does it all (even cleaning up the kitchen because he knows I like it clean!). I went away for a weekend to the coast and he cared for our son and had a great time. I am a lucky mama!
Indeed
I agree with all of the mamas above. YES! Dave would be great for the weekend or even longer. I just haven’t had anywhere cool to go sans the family! P.S. Please don’t enter me into the contest since I wrote the books:) I wanted to participate in the Question of the Week though!!! Thanks Mama Natural for spreading such an important message for families everywhere!
Maria Dismondy
Maria recently posted Things I Love Thursdays-Hot Tea
YAY! Love your books, Maria!
I am confident my husband could watch all 5 of our children by himself for a weekend. At this point in our marriage he has gone through many trials by fire. But he has always risen to the occasion. I am blessed to have a wonderful husband who would be more than happy to give me the weekend off. And I would be worry free!
That is a tremendous blessing!
Darn it! No sound on the stupid computer I’m working on, but I’ll comment on the topic, anyway!
My hubby was a stay at home dad for a few months from the time I went back to work 6 weeks post partum. He was also a single parent to his (now our) daughter from 6 months to 4 years of age. So yeah, he can certainly handle it. That said, now that he has me, he’s MORE than happy to hand over any and all child duties to me when we’re both home, and most of the time I’m more than happy to have them since I work outside the home 50 hours a week.
Colleen recently posted Diva, Luna, Mama
I’m impressed that you work that much AND blog! Dang, girl
Definitely yes. My husband had grown children from previous marriages so he had lots of baby/child rearing experience. He’s always been a hands on dad. Last year I travelled to India for 16 days. I asked him if he wanted my mom to take our then 9 year old for a few days but his answer was, “Why would I do that? She belongs with me.” We homeschool so she’s usually with me at home or work but he took her to work with him every day while I was gone and was wonderful with everything. He couldn’t have scored more points in my book.
That’s awesome!
My man is agreat daddy, but when it comes to having the kids for more than 8 hours, he just gets overwhelmed. But don’t we all? With that said, I would Bsolutely leave him with the kids for the weekend. It would be good for them both. Makes meant to plan a trip now!
Haha, of course! The real question is could *I* handle solo parenting??? My partner keeps me sane; it is definitely an equal partnership!
Definitely! I often think of single mamas and truly wonder how they survive. While we can rise to the occasion if we had to, I am thankful to have a partner and a helper.
Amen! I would be sunk without Mike.
Ditto Jill! Especially during the mad dash that is the time between getting home from work and bedtime, I find myself thinking how do single mamas do this without a partner, I love that my husband is such a great father and partner.
I’m a single mama of a six-month-old, and you’re right… it’s not easy! My plan is to move ASAP to a place that’s within walking distance of my job, which I think will cut down the stress significantly. If I did have a partner, I would hope he would be as amazing as all of your men seem to be!
LOL!
Honestly, my husband is more in touch with babies than I am, so he is totally, more than capable of handling the kids for the weekend. I trust him more alone than I trust myself alone. Which is comforting for me. They also go to him for day to day comfort. They love daddy time.
Sounds like you’ve got a keeper
My husband has been a SAHD, taking care of our little one for going on 2 years now. He has done an exceptional job and I would have absolutely no qualms about leaving him to take care of the little guy for a whole weekend. I work FT and in discussing this dynamic with friends, family, people at work, etc. I have definitely discovered a lot of antiquated, sexist, and quite frankly offensive assumptions and stereotypes associated with men taking care of THEIR babies “by themselves” (oh the horror!). I realize you were trying to be quite diplomatic in your setup to the QOTD but this outdated viewpoint needs to be kicked in the pants once and for all. It’s ridiculous to assume that men can’t take care of their children in their own special way for any certain length of time.
Good points. We have a lot of work to do to get to where you and hubby are… but we’ll get there. Mike does a 4 day work week so he can have 1 day with Griffin. While many moms in his office do this, I think he’s the only father that does!
Amen! My husband has been a SAGS for 9.5 years. We now have 4 children – 10, 8, 4, and 2. I recently got called out of the country on an unexpectedly for work. In the end, I was gone for 5 nights and 6 days. He took it all in stride and never even missed a soccer practice, two games, an all week-end underwater hockey tournament, and gymnastics! He even had an extra kid for a sleepover and did “duty day” at our co-op nursery school.
I know, I know – I am not allowed to complain on the days he doesn’t make veggies with supper (which is ready every night by the time I get home from work) or shave or shower. He’s awesome anyways. I should go tell him now.
QOTW answer: YES!
If he HAD too. DD and DH have a great bond and he helps in lots of ways but feeding and diaper changing are not his areas of expertise. When she’s older though, absolutely!
My husband is wonderful and can hold his own with our four little ones. The house is not always cleaned up….
Yes! I haven’t had any where cool to go without hubby and son in tow, but if need be my husband would hold down the fort just fine! I am pretty sure the house may not be as clean as I prefer, but lil man would be fed, loved, happy and clean!
It’s not called “watching the kids” when I do it and no one asks if it is okay to leave them with me for extended periods of time…so I expect the same of my husband, which is to say I expect him to parent with or without me.
Amen sister!
PERFECTLY said! My husband gets so offended when people ask him if he is “babysitting” the kids! He is like they are MY kids, I am not babysitting them, is my wife babysitting them when she is with them?
I’ve actually left my husband for a weekend already when our little girl was only 13 months old. He did great! Not perfect, but really great.
It probably helped that I had a fridge full of food and meals for him already though.
My daughter has been daddy’s girl since she was minutes old. I think he would be ok for a weekend, but he would try to call in help. He gets very stressed out when she cries.
Ha! my husband can’t handle more than one kid at a time without it erupting into chaos. We have two kids so usually if i need to go somewhere I take one with me and leave one home with him…
My husband can’t yet, but in time. Right now, our 4 month old would not deal well, I can only be gone no longer than an 1-2 hours and my husband doesn’t like crying AT ALL. I’m nursing and she hasn’t gotten used to a bottle yet, so she’s all about Mama when she gets hungry. My husband is a great Daddy, and helps me out a lot with the baby. I know when she gets older he will definitely be able to parent solo, no problem.
Yeah, I never worry about the kiddos when they’re with my hubby. He’s the only one though! I can relax when they’re with him.
Would love to add these delightful books to my family home preschool!
Yes, my husband and I are both in the military and he has watched the kids whild I have had to leave for training.
I would love too add these cute titles to my daughters book collection.
I’d trust my husband 100% with our baby girl for a weekend. Right now we’re not ready (she’s still so young) but in the future no problem for either of us.
Mine takes on both our girls when I have military duty. Our 5 yr old AND our strictly breastfed, always worn, cloth diapered 9 mo old…he is amazing! I always say, He wears the pants, but I wear the combat boots! When duty calls to me, he gets the doody at home!
you bet! my hubby could (and would!) do it. he may not do everything the way i would – but that doesn’t mean it’s not okay. he’d be ready for a break after 48 hrs with the kids solo, but who wouldn’t be!!
I know that my man could be alone with our 18 month old for a weekend and probably do fine. It will probably come with some difficulty, but I know he could do it and that he would be willing. He has never had to leave me alone for a weekend before on my own (I have chosen to go on trips without him though) So I would not ask that of him unless necessary.
No way! I mean, I’m sure the children would be alive, but I’m not sure anyone would be very happy. Ha! I know he’d be totally willing to do it if he had to though!
No way. My daughter is 5 months old, but my hubby is not hands on most the time. I’m way to neurotic to leave him with her.
Could my husband parent solo for a weekend??? OF COURSE HE CAN HE IS THEIR FATHER! and the house would be clean and dinner would be made. Its 2012 not 1955 ladies.
So jealous of the lucky lady who won the DVD
Cute little Muslim tike and mama!
No way could my hubby take the baby (almost 2) for more than 1/2 a day solo….I wanna wean around 2 and have threatened to go away for a weekend, but those are empty words as it would never work.
Plus, who would take care of the other 3…
Grammy…that’s who…it’s also who is getting an awesome mother’s day gift and card.
I would have declared a resounding ‘NO’ to this if I hadn’t tried it out the hard way. I attended IIN in NYC when my 2nd daughter was 10 months old. My husband took both kids on school weekends. And he was stellar! He saw first baby steps, and no one starved or fell off any high objects. I was pregnant with baby number 3, and was so blessed to see my children and husband grow closer. Husbands parent differently, and it was a good experience for them all to spend that time together. I think Dad is not Mom, and that is hard in some ways, but very very key to the relationship between parents and kids.
The house was a disaster, laundry had to be folded and put away before I left, and everyone was thrilled to see Mama when she returned. I would very strongly be opposed to leaving Daddy with all 4 little ones on his own, but one day a week, I work for a raw milk group, and Daddy gets 4 solid hours of kids. And sometimes, just sometimes, the house is neater when I return home. Usually, he’s gotten everyone down for a nap, and the baby is awaiting her traveling milk-mama’s return. I love having a Daddy, and though fantasize about house-help, think that having a partner in parenting is such an amazing gift, even if he does it in a different way than I do….
I am CONFIDENT my hubby could handle our girls (3 and 1) for the weekend, but he on the other hand wouldn’t be comfortable doing so.
Come bedtime, they are not very nice to him! Especially our 1 year old who just wants her mommy!
Many tears and little sleeping and then both girls are awake and miserable, and I come home to a very stressed out daddy! (This happens about once a month, when I go out for the evening to a women’s Bible study.) BUT I KNOW he is capable.
Just has to work through getting the girls to sleep.
Well, it would not happen the way I think it should, but yes, I’m sure Hubby could care for the kids alone for a weekend.
-violet
I think if he absolutely had to, I think he could. They would prob be livin off pizza all weekend and just be in there underwear. LOL. I dunno he could surprise me tho
Could he and all survive? Yeah, probably. Should I leave him with 4 children, the youngest being a 7 month old boob tick? No, I think it would be cruel and unusual punishment for all involved. I would only ever do that for an absolutely necessary medical reason, which I do not have at this time.
Of course! We work best as a team (and when we outnumber the baby!), but either one of us can go solo. That said, my tatas give me a leg up on the competition.
sure, he could do it. the house would suffer, the laundry wouldn’t get done and the kids would probably be a little less than clean, but they’d all have a good time together!
My husband is fully capable of watching the kids for a weekend unassisted. He often takes the lead with our kids during the day while I work.
I’ve left two kids with him for an entire week. However, my friend watched them during the day. He did then have them solo on the weekend. I left lots of lists:)