Without a shared vision, a relationship will perish.
In the spirit of Valentine’s Day, why not create a relationship vision with your partner? Mike and I did this based on Harville Hendrix’s Getting the Love You Want and it was a huge blessing in our lives! At the time we wrote it, some of the statements were very aspirational, and not our present reality. What’s amazing is that today, not only did our vision come true, it’s something we still use as a tool when we get off course.
How to write your vision statement
You and your partner will need 2 sheets of paper, pens and about 30 minutes.
Spend 10 minutes writing out some visions for your relationship. Describe the kind of relationship you desire with your partner. Write them in the present tense and in a positive voice – e.g. “We are smart with money,” as opposed to, “We avoid money problems.”
Some vision examples may include: We are committed to each other. We enjoy traveling together. We share in household duties.
After you’ve made your individual lists, come together as a couple and share with each other. You then make a “master” list, combining combines your two individual visions. Once you’ve done that, rank the statements 1-5, with 5 being the most important.
The visions that you both rank as 5 top out your list. Work together as a couple to determine which additional visions are important enough to make the list.
Mike and Genevieve’s Relationship Vision
- We are best friends.
- We are healing agents in each other’s lives.
- We value our relationship as our most important interpersonal relationship.
- We accept all of each other and ourselves with love and tolerance.
- We have peace, purpose, and calm at the center of our relationship.
- We are committed to our development as individuals.
- We are committed to each other.
- We worship and deepen our relationship with God together.
- We laugh often and have fun!
- We have a satisfying sex life.
- We place God, love, family and self-care above work life.
- We stay physically fit and healthy together.
- We ask God for help and healing daily.
- We work through anger and disagreements.
- We both have fulfilling careers.
- We share in household responsibilities and financial matters.
- We are avid, adventurous travelers and lifelong learners.
- We are smart about money.
- We are close to family and friends.
- We appreciate and participate in art and culture.
- We create beauty together through various creative endeavors.
- We give back as a couple to our church, community, country, and world.
Learn more about IMAGO and find a therapist at: http://gettingtheloveyouwant.com